AF Marathon/10K

Over three months ago I blogged (on my other blog) about my inability to "follow through" and how I wanted to change that by training for the 10K race of the 2011 AF Marathon. At the time I discussed how I have always wanted to run a 5K (I have walked several but never run one) but that I shouldn't limit myself to that and should try for the 10K instead. One of the motivating factors for trying for the 10K was that the 54-year-old wife of the CSAF did the 10K...if she can do it at her age, there is really nothing stopping me from doing it except for myself. At the time I wrote the first post, I had 358 days to train - now I have 245 days.

I also discussed why I wanted to do it - to prove to myself I can, to prove that I can set a goal and achieve it, to show myself that I am worthy, etc. I ended with a comment on how even as I was writing, I was already worried about not following through.

Here I am over three months later and I am no closer than I was back then. In fact I can count on one hand (maybe two) the number of times I have taken a walk or walked on the treadmill in the last three months. I don't even have the excuse of cold weather since we have a treadmill in the basement. I even had a reminder on my iPhone to let me know when sign-ups started for the race. I talked to my husband about it for a bit but then didn't do anything about it.

I think for me the problem with following through is that sometimes (often?) I procrastinate for so long that I essentially take action by not taking action. I subconsciously decide I can't do it or won't succeed so by not trying at all, I can fool myself into thinking I may have accomplished it but ran out of time, or didn't try hard enough or some other such excuse.

When will I figure out that it's better to have tried and failed than to be stuck wondering what may have been...? Who knows, if I gave myself half a chance, I might realize that I'm actually good at something I thought I would fail at...I'll never know unless I try...

So, on that note, I just registered for the AF 10K - that's at least one concrete step I can take towards my goal. We'll see how it goes from here...