Christmas at the White House

I am lucky enough to have visited the White House three times so far. The first time was with my grandfather, just weeks before I entered Basic Training. The second was about 5-6 years ago while I was an Intern at the Pentagon. The third time was last week!

I was able to get an invitation to the White House Press Event on 30 Nov 11 from the National Military Family Association. I was a little nervous because I wasn't really sure where to go or what to do. My wonderful husband took me to brunch at the Old Ebbett Grill and then walked me to the White House. He even waited with me for a bit until I got up the nerve to attach myself to a few other people who were waiting to go in.

Once inside, we were allowed to walk around on our own and really take our time looking at the decorations and other exhibits. I think because it was the press event, we were even allowed to take pictures.

Washington's Plate

We got to see several rooms that aren't usually open to the public (as far as I know). The Vermeil Room had six or seven official portraits of former First Ladies, including a very haunting portrait of Jackie Kennedy. Secretary Clinton's portrait was out in the hall. I don't think I saw Laura Bush's portrait - wonder where it is or if I just missed it...The China Room had a beautiful table set with china from the Bush presidency. It also had pieces from each previous china set on display including some pieces from George Washington's presidency.

Theme for this year

I could have spent a lot more time in the library looking at the books. They had some old White House Christmas cards on display including a really cool one with the 8th Air Force insignia on it. They were replicas, but still neat to see. Speaking of old White House cards, in one of the hallways, they had all of the previous cards on display. It's interesting that for Eisenhower all of his cards were very simple - just the Presidential Seal.

Official White House Tree

The official Christmas tree (one of 37 trees!) in the Blue Room was huge. I couldn't get a picture of the whole thing. It was decorated with pictures from military children around the world as well as ornaments made out of the material used for military medals. Interesting idea, at the same time I felt as if it were somehow trivializing what those medals stand for to use them as decorative material. One neat detail was that the tree skirt had buttons from military dress uniforms.

400 pound White House Gingerbread

There were so many cool things, such as the traditional White House gingerbread house (400 lbs!), the many different "Bo" decorations including a large one made with felt, one out of buttons and another one made from marshmallows and licorice, and one somewhat dark and scary nativity scene.

First Lady Michelle Obama

The highlight was seeing/hearing First Lady Michelle Obama speak in person. What an amazing surprise. Although the bigger surprise may have been that I liked her speech. The only thing I didn't like was that she said something along the lines of not wanting anyone to ever have to ask again what a Gold Star family is but then never actually told people what it was. (In case you are wondering, Gold Star families have lost a family member in the service. Blue Star families have a family member in the service.) Mrs. Obama mentioned that we were the first group to go through the White House of the over 85,000 visitors expected this season - neat to be part of that. Overall, it was pretty cool to see how a "press conference" happens. 

The large felt Bo

I met another Association volunteer and had a nice time walking around with her and talking with her. It's so much nicer to share an event with someone instead of walking around by yourself. We also met a Gold Star wife and walked around with her a bit. She was nice enough to share some of her pictures since she had brought an actual camera and not just her phone.

There are quite a few articles and probably much better pictures on the Internet if you want to read/see more.

Military Memories 2

My father was in the Army and served in Vietnam. Even in high school I would read books about Vietnam and biographies from platoon leaders during that conflict. Finally, after my first deployment, I felt as if I could understand some little scrap of what he went through. It was something, but not enough...

Southeast and Southwest

Similar -

but vastly different

You went your way;

I went mine

Southeast Asia -

No choices;

no support

Three tours -

such a long time

Making changes;

some you saw then and some now

Southwest Asia -

I asked to go;

support is waning

Sixty days -

not long enough

Making changes;

using what I've learned

to prepare for the next time.

Military Memories

Veteran's Day is tomorrow...

I have so many memories, good and bad, of my time in the Air Force. Below is one of the ways I set some of those memories to paper...

Coming Home

Dog tags chanting in the wind -

M-60s pointing at the wire

Tents placed in rows -

uniforms and civies hung side by side

Favorite shows watched again and again -

painting a picture of endless possibilities

M*A*S*H and China Beach -

someone else's ideas; a dream made real

Doing something important -

something to be proud of

Set apart from others -

by location and sense of duty

A wish to serve -

to go where others won't

Sunsets over sand dunes -

foreign tongues and customs

The sense of deja vu -

finally coming home...

POW/MIA Remembrance Day

As today is POW/MIA Remembrance Day, I thought I would share with you a poem I wrote about POWs. I wrote it in November of 1991. I can't really remember what was going on at that moment to bring the words, but I do know I had been reading about POWs since I was in high school and going to the Academy only reinforced that. Out of everything I've written so far, this has remained something I'm most proud of. I used to think about sending it to someone in the POW/MIA remembrance community but didn't know who or where. So I'm sharing it with you now.

Faith and a Prayer (21 Nov 91)

Name, rank and service number –

That’s all I’m going to give.

Please, please, let that be enough –

Just to let us live.

The days drag on –

The months don’t end.

How many years

have we been here, my friend?

The questions have stopped –

Our knowledge is old.

Yet, our cells are still dark –

Our bones are still cold.

A question remains –

Running deep in our hearts.

Why did you leave us –

Did we not do our part?

The years flow by –

There aren’t many left.

Our faces are covered –

In the stillness of death.

Once we believed –

That our country did care.

Now all we have –

Is our faith and a prayer.

Secretary of Defence Leon Panetta gave a good speech today. If you'd like to read it, you can find it here.
____
I'm not sure why the intro paragraph isn't showing up right...sometimes it's there and sometimes it isn't. Usually, it shows up when I click on the title. Anyone have any ideas why it's not always there? Funny thing it, that's what I was trying to do with the "read more" thing but that wasn't working and I haven't had a chance to try and fix it.

Underwhelmed

So, the OSC function yesterday did not go quite as expected...as in I'm not sure if I've ever felt less welcomed anywhere.

On the OSC website was the following statement:
"Whether you are new to the area or have been here for years, you will enjoy our Super Sign-up. You can find out about our club and all our great Activities and you'll also learn about other groups and things to do in our area."

I had made a conscious decision not to bring cash to the event because I knew they were supposed to have a lot of crafts and other neat things to look at and buy and I didn't want to buy anything. I still think this was a good thing, especially now as I realize I probably would have felt pressured to pay the membership fee before I had even learned anything about the club.

I wish I had handled the whole thing better in person, but was so surprised at having been "dismissed" that I just wanted to get out of there and not go back...still not sure if I'll participate in any of their events at this point - they just left a really bad taste in my mouth...

Below is the e-mail I sent to the person in charge of the information fair as well as to the "info@ OSC" e-mail provided on their website. There was a lot more I wanted to say but I felt that getting too into my hurt feelings and emotions would only get in the way...Take a look and let me know what you think - too much? Not enough?
___________ 

To whom it may concern -

I attended the welcome fair yesterday but wanted to let you know I have never felt less welcome at any base I have ever been to.

Based on information on your website, I thought this was an opportunity to get to know your club, see what you had to offer and decide if I wanted to join and participate. Since we just moved here, I had been looking forward to the Info Fair for over a month thinking it would be a good introduction to the base/area.

Upon arrival at the "Welcome" table there was an expressed expectation that I join the BOSC in order to participate in the event. When I stated I did not have any cash and wanted to check it out before joining, I was no longer "welcomed" and was told to mail in a membership form and/or check out the Facebook page and to "have a good day." My impression of having been thus dismissed was reinforced by the fact the woman in front of me was given a "gift bag" (as it seemed were the other women present) and I was not. When I asked if I could look around, I was told "I guess, but you can't sign up for anything since you're not a member."

I'd like to recommend that in the future, if this is truly an information fair, that "Membership" be separate from "Welcome." As you welcome people, you can take their information if they do not want to join right way (thereby keeping track of the number of people who attend and enabling your group to reach out to them later) or if they are interested, point them to the membership side to sign up. It's a small distinction but may help alleviate misconceptions about who is "welcome" and who isn't.

Thank you for your time.

New Place, New People

We moved about three months ago and so far the only new people I've met and talk to with any regularity are my neighbor and the women at Bubba's daycare. As nice as they are, I don't think we're exactly friends...

Tomorrow is the "Welcome Social" for the local Officer's Spouse's Club. I'm actually looking forward to going and seeing what they have to offer and meeting new people. Judging by their website, they seem like they have lots of interesting things going on: books clubs, a "Tea Time" group that goes to different "Tea" places around the area, a mom's group for play dates and mom's night out events, a crafting group, and a group that just gets together to explore the area. I hope to get a lot of information and see what kind of plan I can come up with to get involved and still have lots of time with Bubba. I already had to promise my husband that I would not volunteer for anything and especially not to be on the board. Easy promise to make...I had enough of being on the Board and dealing with opinionated women at our last base.

Tomorrow's event is supposed to be stroller friendly, so hopefully Bubba will do OK and not get bored too quickly. I figure if I have milk and crackers, he should be good to go. Plus, he loves to see new things and watch people so it should be fun for him too.

I plan on doing some recon today so I can find the Officer's Club more easily tomorrow...I'll let you know how it goes.

Mental Snapshots

Recently, a name from my past cropped up in a conversation. She was a friend of mine while I was at the Academy and for a few years after. Then something happened, I still don't know/remember what it was, and she stopped talking to me. We got back in touch through e-mail a year or so ago but then she deployed to Afghanistan and I never heard from her again. I'm not sure if she's still there or back home or what...I feel as if I can't really go looking for her again because she seems to have made her choice pretty clear.

Anyway, thinking of her made me think of the four or five rolls of film she offered to get developed for me (she had a place to do it real cheap and then she could get doubles made for both of us to have prints) that I never got back. I know what's on at least one of those rolls - pictures from the day of and week leading up to the USAFA class of 1994 graduation. Since I started out with that class, and their graduation day was the day I re-entered USAFA, there are a lot of pictures on the roll of people/events I cared about. So instead of having lots of pictures to record the year I spent in Colorado Springs, I have about five. I've asked this friend in the past if she ever found the pictures and that I would like to see them. She always said she didn't know where they were since she's moved so much. At least I have the mental snapshots...

I have a horrible memory. That's why I like taking pictures and now scrapbooking. It helps me to remember people and events. Yet there are times where for one reason or another I don't have pictures to help me remember. For example: it's been almost 15 years since my USAFA graduation and I've never even seen, let alone gotten my hands on, the video my father took...On several deployments while in the AF, I didn't want to look like a geek (or too girly) by taking pictures, so I didn't pull the camera out...on a trip to Poland, I dropped and broke my camera - I didn't get a new one for most of my assignment in Germany...most recently, while at the beach with my husband and Bubba - I wanted a picture of our three footprints side by side in the sand but had forgotten my camera up at the house...

Despite my bad memory, I've got some mental snapshots from these time periods and these events. I cherish those mental images even more than the pictures I can put my hands on. Mostly because those few images are all I have from those moments. Do I wish I had something more concrete? Yeah. But since I don't, I'll treasure what I can remember. I just wish my mental snapshots weren't so few and far between...

Free Books Rock

What a fun, fabulous Friday! I opened the front door and there upon the stoop was a box with my name on it. I love getting mail. Getting packages is even better.

A while ago I got a tweet from Military OneSource (@Military1Source) saying they are ending their free paperback and audio books program. In the past there was a 10-book limit per year but now they're trying to get rid of everything so there's no limit. They have a lot of titles to choose from. I got 11 paperbacks and 3 audio books.  Now I just have to figure out where these books will fit into my "To Read" pile. The audio books will be good to listen to while I'm walking.

The first book I cracked open was "Incredible Edible Science." It retails (on Amazon) for $21. It's full of all kinds of experiments and activities for kids (though I think adults would enjoy them as well). There are activities in six categories: observing (further broken down into sight, smell, taste, touch and sound), classifying, communicating, measuring, inferring and predicting. It seems to be geared more towards a group of kids/classroom instead of just one child but everything can be adapted for one.

The audio books are really cool too. They come with everything you need - a strap to carry it, earphones, and a note to pass it on to another military family when done.

I'm not sure why they're suspending their library program but I'm happy I was able to take advantage of what they had to offer. I am looking forward to reading the books I got (and/or using them as reference materials as needed) and listening to my audio books. I will definitely pass them on when I've finished...

As of today, they are still filling orders. So, if you qualify (Active Duty, Reserves, National Guard, or family members) go over and see if they have any titles you might like...Happy reading!

Libraries

This weekend we went to the library on post. They have a children's reading hour during the week that I want to try out but I wanted to do some reconnaissance first. As my husband, a former AWACS pilot, always says, "Time spent in recce is time well spent."

As soon as I walked in, I felt like I was both home and in a new magical place. It reminded me of how much I used to love going to the library. When I was little my mom would take us to the library and we were allowed to pick out any three books we wanted. I loved that time spent in the library. I loved the smell of it, the cool and the quiet, the vastness and the rows and rows of books. The library was always the same, yet at the same time there was always something new and different to be found. I realized it has been way too long since I've been in a library. How come we allow ourselves to get so far away from things we love..?

We have been reading to Bubba since he was born (I actually read out loud to him while I was pregnant). He loves being read to and looking at books. I hope that by taking him to reading time every week we can build on that love and give him some good memories too. I know he's a little young (18 months!) to remember things right now but maybe something like the library will stick with him, even if just in the back of his mind. Like it did with me.

Update: we went to reading time and I think Bubba really enjoyed it. He sat nicely on his little alphabet square, listened to the stories (loved the one with the ball), sang and clapped along with the "Babies on the Bus" book and colored a picture after story time was over. It was fun to watch him watching the other kids. We're definitely going back.

Memorial Day

One of the things I love about Memorial Day and other "patriotic" holidays is putting out our little flags. This year the Little Guy got to help!

For the past several days I have been reading different articles, posts and tweets concerning Memorial Day. On top of that there were of course all the usual ads for "Memorial Day Sales." On Sunday, at a barbecue with some friends we talked a bit about the difference between Memorial Day, Veteran's Day and Armed Forces Day. As you may know, Armed Forces Day (21 May 11) is a day to honor those who serve in our Armed Forces; Veteran's Day (11 Nov) is a day to remember those who have served in our Armed Forces; and Memorial Day (last Monday in May) is a day to honor those who have given the ultimate sacrifice while serving in our Armed Forces. 

One article said what I've been thinking about this Memorial Day, but did it in a much better way...Mr. Horton states that on Memorial Day "many incorrectly thank Vets or active duty folks for their service. While appreciated, it's misdirected. That's what Veteran's Day is for. Instead, they should take some time and remember the spirit of the country and the dedication of those men and women who chose to pick up arms. They never came home to be thanked, and only their memory remains."

I found the article through a Veterans Affairs tweet:

Veterans Affairs (@DeptVetAffairs)
5/30/11 7:23 PM
MT @USArmy: "When #MemorialDay Bleeds Across The Calendar." Read a @DeptVetAffairs blog from a #OIF #Vet: http://go.usa.gov/Dg6#Military

Duct Tape, Quilting and Oprah

I've been working on a quilt for my best friend for a couple years now. One of my friends has been helping me to finish that and a couple other quilting projects before we move. So, needless to say, I'm in a bit of a time crunch.

The couple quilts I've done before I've used blue painter's tape to tape it to the floor in order to do the basting (pinning the layers together before quilting). In this case, I couldn't find the painter's tape and the duct tape happened to be handy. I had already used duct tape once before on a smaller project and it worked fine...besides when something needs sticking, use duct tape, right?

Unfortunately, I didn't take into account that I was using a much lighter batting and had used much larger pieces of duct tape. Holy Cow was the duct tape a mistake. As my friend pointed out, it's true there are many uses for duct tape - in the garage...

I'm hoping since the friend I am making the quilt for was also a maintenance office in the USAF, she will find it both funny and appropriate that I tried to make a quilt using duct tape.

On the deeper end, thinking about the duct tape and quilting made me think about the two different sides of me: the over-achieving, fast-track USAF maintenance officer and the stay-at-home mom quilting, crafting and baking cookies for the husband's office...using the duct tape just seemed to be an interesting combination of the two. The fact that it didn't quite work is something else to ponder...

I have always loved crafts but felt like it didn't really fit into my life while I was on Active Duty. Baking for the "office" would set me apart from the guys and not in a good way. So, I just didn't do any baking or crafting...essentially not at all until I got out of the AF.

Someone recently said on Oprah that she thought Oprah didn't like her...that Oprah only wanted the work - not her. That really resonated with me. I think that's how I've felt for my whole life - especially while in the AF. I felt as if I had to work harder and do better than everyone else - that my work had to be the best so that "they" would continue to want me. Every time I was recognized for my work, I felt as if it was just proof they only cared about the work...sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Some days (most days?), I still feel that way...that I need to prove myself worthy of being someone's friend or of being loved. But I'm getting better at doing things just because I want to and because I enjoy it...and like the duct tape and the quilt - some days it works and some days it doesn't...but it's not the end of the world and if it gets messed up or doesn't turn out quite right, it's usually good enough or can be fixed to be better.

Eventful Weekend

First there was the royal wedding on Friday...full of excitement, pomp and history...

Then there was the mass at the Vatican to beatify Pope John Paul II...

Now, the news that Osama bin Laden has been killed by US forces...

I watched TV most of the morning on Friday, about 30 minutes of the beatification mass early Sunday morning, and then missed Obama's speech by about 15-20 minutes. I had gone to bed and then saw a tweet that he was going to give a rare Sunday night press conference. Since there has been so much in the news about his birth certificate (which I am sick of hearing about and question his timing for releasing information....), I decided to stay in bed and not get up to watch his announcement. I kind of wish I had - it's quite a historical moment. On the other hand, my husband had his PT test this morning so it's probably good that I let him sleep...I wonder if they will still air the originally scheduled interview with Obama on Oprah this afternoon - from what I have seen he's discussing - yup, you guessed it, his birth certificate...Based on articles on the web, I'm not the only one (or the first) to question what Oprah might do...

Regardless, it has definitely been an eventful and historical weekend....

Joining Forces

For a few years now I have been volunteering for the National Military Family Association. I don’t do a whole lot other than read stuff I would already read, do training webinars, attend meetings on base as a representative for the Association and once I visited an Operation Purple Camp and wrote a report about it. Despite my lack of participating to the degree I might wish to, I have enjoyed being “in the know” and feeling as if I was doing something positive for military families.

Recently, (12 Apr 11) the First Lady, Michelle Obama, and Dr. Jill Biden launched a new initiative to support military families on a larger, national, scale. So far, their “Joining Forces” initiative seems both comprehensive and ambitious.

The Joining Forces website states “Joining Forces is a national initiative that mobilizes all sectors of society to give our service members and their families the opportunities and support they have earned.  The initiative recognizes that though only “1% of Americans may be fighting our wars, we need 100% of Americans to be supporting our troops and their families.” President Obama showed his support and the importance he places on this initiative when he stated (in prepared remarks) that “no American in uniform has ever served alone: ‘Behind every American in uniform stands a wife or husband; a mother, a father; a son or daughter; a sister or brother. These families — these remarkable families — are the force behind the force.’" As both a Veteran and a military spouse, it’s refreshing to see the Commander in Chief, and the highest echelons of our society, recognize that more needs to be done to show support for our troops and their families.

One good resource for people who want to know more about how to show that support is the National Military Family Association. The Association just released a “How To” guide for supporting military families called “Finding Common Ground: A Toolkit for Communities Supporting Military Families.” According to the Association website, “this toolkit suggests easily-achievable action items and useful resources to guide anyone who wants to support military families, but doesn’t know where to start.” The guide has links to different “communities” such as “Family, Friends, and Neighbors”; “Military Families”; “Community, Civic, and Religious Leaders”; and “State and Local Government Officials” to name a few. Each community link contains “ideas and resources that can start conversations and stimulate action.” I’m not sure if the Association came out with this guide as part of the Joining Forces initiative but either way, it seems as if they go together pretty well.

I’m excited to see what else comes out of this initiative and see if/how it helps the rest of the country to understand a little better what military families go through on a regular basis. For people who have never served and/or never known anyone who has served it’s nice that they now have a place to go to find more information or learn how they can show they care. I’m always surprised when I meet someone who has never had any affiliation with the military yet are supporting our troops and their families. It makes me appreciate what they do even more because they truly are doing it to show their support and not just because they or their family may benefit from their efforts. I hope this new initiative and the Association’s “tool kit” both help to strengthen support for our military families.

BRAT

April is the Month of the Military Child...

I thought this “month of whatever” was something that had only been started in the last few years. Looking into it, this year is actually the 25th anniversary of the Month of the Military Child! Way back in 1986, then Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger designated April as the Month of the Military Child as a way to honor military children for their courage and sacrifices. According to Military.com more than 1.7 million children under the age of 18 have at least one parent serving in the armed forces. And it is estimated that more than 900,000 children have had one or both parents deployed multiple times.

The President of the Air Force Association, Mike Dunn, recently sent out an e-mail which included a story describing the origins of the term “Brat.” It’s funny how something starts out as an acronym and then becomes part of regular vocabulary. The e-mail is in it’s entirety below.

I also found a website from 2010 that has a lot of activities, scrapbook page designs, ideas for parents and teachers to help celebrate the Month of the Military Child. Not sure why they haven’t updated it, but most of the information still looks good. Finally, the National Military Family Association website has a link to send an eCard to show your support of military kids. I’m sure there are tons of other sites out there containing information and/or activities. I know most, if not all, military bases have many different functions planned for this month.

As the parent of a military child, it’s nice to know he will be recognized for the sacrifices he will make as he grows up. It won’t make up for leaving friends every couple of years and missing his dad while he’s gone, but at least it’s something.

____________

AFA members, as many of you know, this month is the month of the military child.  AFA has recognized this with a press release you can find here: http://www.afa.org/media/press/AFA_Honors_Military_child.asp

But to honor the month, I want to tell you a story … one that very few people know.

When I was President of the National Defense University (NDU), I frequently bragged about the NDU library, calling it the "best library in the world."  I had reason to … as, before I took over, it had won an award as the best library in government.  One night, at a social event at my home, I asserted the above praise, and my dear wife responded:  "If your library is so great, ask them to find the origin of the term 'Military Brat.'  I think the term is an acronym."

[Many of you may know that the term Brat is a common reference to children of military members.  It is a term of endearment – referring to a group who endure hardships, frequently move, change schools, leave behind friends, put up with frequent deployments, long absences of their parent(s), and (sometimes) inadequate government housing.]

Well – it turns out my wife was right … and the NDU library came through.  A researcher there found a book written in 1921 which described the origins of the term.  It came, like many of our military traditions, from the British Army.  It seems that when a member of the British Army was assigned abroad and could take his family (mostly in India), the family went with the member in an Admin status entitled:  BRAT status.  It stands for:  British Regiment Attached Traveler.  Over the years, it was altered to refer only to the children of the military member (the wives of the British Army [who were all males] objected to the term referring to them).  And the term not only stuck, but in many cases was adopted world-wide. 

I can't emphasize too much the support role of families to our military.  They move all over the world.  Continuity of education, friendships … and even living conditions are often lacking.  The success of the military is dependent upon the safety and support of their family members.

That is why one of the Chief of Staff of the Air Force's top five priorities is:  Developing and Caring for Airmen and their families.  Family members' motto is exactly the same as that of the Air Force Association:  The Force behind the Force

Please share this note with as many others as you can.

Respectfully,

Mike 



Michael M. Dunn 


President/CEO
 Air Force Association

Airman Appreciation

I'm the Airman Appreciation Chair for the spouse's club on base. In the past they've done candy at Halloween (done), cookies at Christmas (done - what a huge to do that was) and candy at Easter. 

This year, especially with Easter being so late, I decided to skip the candy at Easter and do something for Armed Forces Day (21 May) instead.

Operation Homefront in Missouri has generously offered to donate a box of Girl Scout cookies for each Airman in the dorms. They have also offered to donate a CD but I'm not sure if that will happen. The candy (usually 7-10 pieces per Airman) seems a bit silly to go along with a whole box of cookies but I'm not sure what else to do.

Instead of having schools do cards (I had schools decorate the bags for the cookies at Christmas which turned out pretty good) the spouse club stamping group has offered to hand make cards. I helped out for a few hours this morning and I think they're going to be great. Still a lot of work to do though, especially if we want to have them done in time for the meeting next week to get people to write something and/or sign them.

So, if you had a box of cookies and possibly a music CD, what else would you include? There are about 350 Airmen in the dorms but I have a good budget so I think I could do anything within reason (really limited only by time and size...). Any ideas?

Honoring the Fallen

On last weekend's episode of Army Wives one of the characters died in combat in Afghanistan. It turned out to be a very emotional episode and included several different tributes to the fallen soldier - including a tribute from his platoon still in Afghanistan.

At the end of the episode the one thing I was surprised about is that they didn't use some events from real life in the episode. I'm specifically referring to a certain church from a certain state that feels called to protest at funerals of our service members. I am so very glad that the writers/producers of Army Wives decided not to give the church more legitimacy (if that's the right word) and/or publicity by featuring something similar in the show.

A few weeks ago, an Airman (A1C Zachary Cuddleback) from this area was shot outside the Frankfurt Airport in Germany. The certain church I mentioned decided they would come out to IL to protest at his funeral. Instead of them making the news and being in the forefront, hundreds of people from around the area lined the streets and blocked the protesters. The Wing Commander from Ramstein AB wrote an article  about what he saw when he escorted A1C Cuddleback's body home for the funeral. Driving around town the next few days, one could still see several signs honoring A1C Cuddleback and his family. I wish we had heard about it beforehand, as I would have been honored to have participated. 

My only question is, and I hate for it to sound like an unpatriotic criticism, was A1C Cuddleback the first person in 10 years of war to die from this are? If not, were the other people honored in the same way? I for one have not heard of anything like what was done for the Cuddleback family. I think it was amazing and beautiful that the community honored a fallen Airman in that fashion...I just hope we haven't gotten so immune to the war and its toll on our service members that others are allowed to just slip by unrecognized. 

Do shows like Army Wives help us remember or do they add to the steady stream of reports and/or images that help to create "caring fatigue" bringing us to a point where we're just too tired to care anymore...?

Lucky Me

Earlier tonight I was reading some posts on the SpouseBuzz Blog and one of them really touched my heart. It had a link to a song video by Helene Cronin. The SpouseBuzz post originated with the Soldier's Angels blog.

The song is called "Lucky Me". The SpouseBuzz blog had some history: "The song is a true story based on Helene’s trip back from Nashville. Standing at the counter at the airport, she happened to strike up a conversation with the soldier standing near her.  He mentioned he was headed back to Iraq and asked where she was going.  “I'm going home,” she said.  “Lucky you,” he replied."

I've listened to the song three or four times now and every time it hits my heart. As you know, I served in the Air Force for 10 years. During that time I deployed several times. I volunteered for every deployment I could. I loved being deployed; I loved feeling like I was finally doing what I signed up for. Every time an aircraft launched, I knew I had done my small part in making that operation a success and protecting the freedoms we enjoy as Americans. I know that sounds cheesy but that's what got me out of bed and kept me going.

I was assigned to Lajes Air Base in the Azores when 9/11 happened. I was doing turnover with my replacement at the time so there was quite a bit of overlap between the two of us as to who was helping to support our efforts when the aircraft began pouring through. There were a few times before I left that I felt left out of the "action." I was the one with the experience but the Director of Operations felt I should be concentrating on out processing. I understand what he was thinking but still wish he had let me make that decision. I moved on to Ramstein AB Germany where we were considered forward-deployed so we  only supported the fight from there. After 22 months at Ramstein I went to the Pentagon for the AF Intern Program. Once again, I was not allowed to deploy. By 2005, I was at Andrews AFB, MD; again, assigned to a non-deployable unit.

I write out this history of assignments to show that I never participated in either IRAQI FREEDOM or ENDURING FREEDOM. And I really wanted to. All of the other deployments and operations I participated in were not so closely tied to really protecting what we, as the United States, stand for. I'm very proud of what I did and accomplished while in uniform but I wish I had been able to do more. 

I realize I am very lucky that I never had to go to either Iraq or Afghanistan. Yet, when I listen to the song "Lucky Me", especially the words towards the end "Freedom comes at a heavy price; we don't all pay our equal share or know what it's like over there. Lucky us, the ones at home while others go to the battle zone; they are the brave, we are the free..."it makes me sad that I didn't pay anywhere close to my equal share and that I don't know what it's like "over there."

Back in 2003, I was at a course at the George Marshall Center. One night, we went to the symphony in Vienna. That same night, my brother was in Iraq with the 3rd Infantry Division. I remember the music made me so sad I started crying. All I could think of is that all I had ever wanted was to serve my country, yet I was having the time of my life and it was my little brother who was at war. I've never forgotten that.

I am lucky. I know that. And it would be very hard for me to deploy now with a husband and son. I am lucky there are still people out there willing to fight and die so that I can enjoy the freedom to sleep in my own bed in my own home with my husband next to me and son down the hall (and sometimes vice versa...). I am lucky I had the opportunity to serve my country at all and was happy to do it. 

I just sometimes wish I could have done more...

Three Thursday Thoughts

1. My little sister had her baby yesterday. The baby was almost 8.5 pounds! Very exciting stuff...I can't wait to meet her but it looks like it will be July before I get back down to KY...We've got quite a lot of stuff going on the next few weeks...so a 10 hour round trip for a couple days isn't really in the cards. I'll be in KY for about a week in July anyway so it seems as if it'd be better to wait until then so I get some real quality time with my sister and her two daughters...

2. I've been reading Marion Chesney's Edwardian Murder Mystery series. It's pretty good though not as good as her Hamish Macbeth or Agatha Raisin series...I started with the Hamish Macbeth series after a friend recommended it and then moved on to Agatha Raisin for a while. I started the new series because I am missing two of the Hamish books (I got the rest really cheap on eBay) so am waiting to read the others until I get those two...In the meantime, I also finished reading a biography about Alice Roosevelt Longworth and Volume 1 of the Complete Sherlock Holmes, both of which I really enjoyed. I'm about a third of the way through Gulliver's Travels but I'm just not taking to it so I keep putting off picking it back up again...I already told my husband that I'd like Volume II of the Sherlock Holmes for my birthday or Christmas. I enjoyed Sherlock much more than I thought I would...though I've always loved mystery stories...even as a little girl some of my favorite books were Nancy Drew and those books where you could pick the outcome - I don't remember what they were called...

3. My husband handed me an article yesterday he thought I might enjoy and turned out I loved it. One of the magazines we receive is "Military Money Magazine" which we get because I'm a member of the National Military Family Association. The article was Sarah Smiley's "Shore Duty" column. I occasionally read her column because she has a lot to say about being a military spouse though I had missed this one. The article was essentially a review of a documentary called "The Way We Get By." It's mainly about three residents of Bangor, Maine who, along with many others, are unofficial greeters for American troops passing through the airport. What really struck me about this article was the fact that I myself have benefited from these greeters at Bangor. Back in 1998, I was headed out for my first deployment as a 2nd Lt. We went to Bangor because we were flying the rest of the way to the UAE with the "Mainiacs" and one of their KC-135s. We got there late and it was already dark. There were only about three or four of us and the airport seemed pretty dead. When we got off the plane, all I remember is being greeted by some very nice people who asked if we needed anything, told us where we could go to get a good lobster dinner and thanked us for our service. Now, I don't know if they were the same people covered in this documentary, but it's something I have never forgotten. The fact that people came out to meet us and see if we needed anything made an impression on me I'll never forget...

Spontaneity

I'm not known for being spontaneous. I like to have a plan, to know what's coming up, to know what to expect...Every once in a while though I do something spontaneous and it usually turns out pretty good.

This past Friday afternoon I decided to call my best friend from school and ask what her weekend plans were. Turns out she didn't have a whole lot going on and agreed it would be great to have me come for a visit. So, Saturday morning I jumped in the car and drove four hours to Whiteman AFB, MO. We had a great visit. Sunday we went to her parents house for a barbecue. I hadn't seen her family (mother, father and brother) since we graduated - about 12 years ago! It was great to see them and get to spend some time with them. I never knew her father had been a maintainer for 20 years, so we had a couple nice conversations about "the good old days" in maintenance.

I also got to see another friend who's also at Whiteman. Before this I hadn't seen her since I left Ramstein AB 6 years ago! I only got to see her for a few hours Sunday morning because her husband was coming back from a deployment that afternoon. But we made the most of the three hours we had. I got lots of cool ideas from her to help support my husband's squadron. She's really creative so I just kind of picked her brain on things to do. She came up with an awesome idea that I am really excited about for the unit - I just hope my husband is as excited as we are. I've already created a whole power point presentation to win him over. Now I just have to wait another week for him to get back from his TDY. Did I mention his TDY? Among other places, they went to Oslo and he took the time to look up his ancestors. He found the town his maternal grandfather was from and loved it. I'm not sure I have ever heard him so excited. I can't wait to see the pictures...heck, I can't wait to go with him and see it myself sometime.

Back to my spontaneous weekend...That's one of the things I love about my military friends. Even if it has been years since the last time we've been together, we always seem to pick up right where we left off. It's as if military people realize more than others that life sometimes gets ahead of you and everyone makes the best of the time they are given. If there's only time for coffee or lunch, then you enjoy the time you have.

It was a great weekend and I'm really glad I picked up that phone and called on Friday. Maybe I'll remember that next time I think of something spontaneous...

20/20

Making a decision is a funny thing. We expect people in leadership positions to make the tough decisions. Sometimes, all we want is for them to make any kind of decision - good or bad. While I was in the Air Force, I was told several times that as an officer, part of the job is to make a decision. Even if it turns out to be wrong, a bad decision is better than no decision. At least you acted to try and make the situation better.

It seems as if in the last several months, the favorite topic in the news was former President Bush and his decision making over the last 8 years. History will judge him better than we can at this moment. It is almost too easy to judge him knowing what we now know. We may never know exactly what information he had at his disposal ("need to know" and national security being what they are), however, I am sure he made the best decisions he could based on the information he was given. As an elected official, our highest elected official, we must believe he made decisions based on the information at hand and what he believed was best for us and our country.

In a recent article describing the unveiling of his official portrait, Gen Pete Pace (USMC, Ret) made a comment that fit right along with this. Gen Pace said he "certainly made some recommendations that if I could take them back and change them, I would, given the knowledge of today, but I also know that given the exact same data, at the exact same time in history, I would give the exact same advice.” Given the "knowledge of today" I think we would be hard pressed to find any decisions from any point and time in history that we wouldn't change in some way. As easy as it is to do that, it is important to think of the knowledge at the time instead of the knowledge of today (taking into account the whole hindsight being 20/20 thing). Most would prefer to wait until they have 100% of the information required to make a fully informed decision. However, the majority of the time, you cannot wait until you have 100%, and at other times, the information is continusously changing and it isn't possible to ever have 100%. It takes courage and bravery to make a decision knowing you will be judged on both the decision and the outcome.

History may prove me wrong, but right now, with the "knowledge of today," I am proud of former President George Bush and Gen Pete Pace. Proud of the decisions they made in their quest to keep our country safe; proud of the men they are and the leadership and service they gave to our country; proud they are men we can look up to and respect.

I hope and pray the men and women leading our country today put the country first in all their decision making, regardless of the consequences only history will show.