Theme Thursday

So, I'm trying something new.

One of the things I talk about quite a bit is wanting to have a plan or some kind of routine. I figured one good place to start is with this blog.

I usually just write based on what I'm thinking about or feeling in a particular moment on a particular day. While I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I've also found it leads my posts to be all over the place. I'm hoping if I have some sort of a plan maybe it will come together a bit better.

One of the things I'm most interested in is writing - hence the blog. But I'm interested in all sorts of writing, and not just my own. I love reading, I love talking about books, I love collecting quotes...and of course I love writing. So, I thought I would start doing "Theme Thursday."

As you may remember from school when you were assigned writing themes - this particular word is not just about a "theme of a play" or something like that. According to the Thesaurus a "theme" is a piece of writing, blurb, commentary, story, think piece, etc. Sounds exactly like what I want to write about and now I know when to do it. Plus, if I do want to have a better explanation for "Theme Thursday" (based on any vague or blank looks based on the other definition of Theme) all I need to say is "Literature is the theme"...because it is...

I've been thinking about doing some kind of book review in addition to tracking the books I read. I've also thought about posting some of the poems I've written. I've collected quotes for a long time and have quite a few of them. I've thought about writing some kind of book using all the quotes I've got - why not start with some blog posts? Lots and lots of juicy ideas waiting to be written down...

If I like the way "Theme Thursday" is going, I might move on to one or two of the other days. Who knows? Let's see how this goes first...let me know what you think.

Fear

Fear is a great motivator. Fear is also a great equalizer. Fear can also freeze time and stop everything - no forward nor backward movement.

Most people fear something.  

Fear of sounding or looking stupid; fear of falling; fear of bugs; fear of flying...they range from those that sound silly to others to those most people can agree are worth fearing. The list of fears is as endless as there are creatures who can know the feeling of fear.

I've been thinking of fear and how it limits us (me) quite a bit the last couple months, even more so in the last day or two.

Those who know me, know for the last 8 years or so, I've had recurring headaches and migraines. I've tried everything from pills, to acupuncture, yoga, more pills, relaxation therapy, aromatherapy, supplements, hot/cold packs, more pills, etc...in other words, just about everything the doctors, well-meaning friends/family, and the internet can throw at me.

I was lucky enough that during my pregnancy and my son's first year I only had three or four migraines and even those were very mild (compared to what I had in the past). Over the last 6 months or so, they've been coming back with a vengeance.

Yesterday was probably the worst one I've had in years. To top it off, I was home alone with my 18 month old son. My husband came home as early as he could but with an hour long commute (not to mention work) he didn't get home until early afternoon. This was the exact fear that plagued me when we discussed having kids in the first place. What would happen if...?

By the afternoon I felt a bit better, but that's when the fear hit. If I go outside with them, will it get worse? If I get out of this bed? If I eat something? If I don't eat something? Round and round trying to second guess what may or may not have caused the migraine or what might bring it back. 

I decided that the fear of doing something to make a migraine strike again or make it worse is almost worse than the pain itself. I know that to get rid of a migraine I need solitary, cool, dark, silence - and sometimes meds. But what kind of life will I have it I let the fear drive me into a life of constant solitary, cool, dark, silence? 

While I sometimes joke that I go into my cave when I need to get away from life or stress or worries...I don't want to live there. I don't want fear of migraines to force me to live there. Yet, that's all I've known for so long. I had accepted it as my lot. Until I got pregnant and realized that it was possible to feel better and to have a real life with people, outside, in the light, with laughter, music and noise filling the air.

The fear is so much worse and the pain more frightening once you catch a glimpse of what life can and should be like. I want it back.

Surveys

Does anyone else out there do surveys on line?

Years ago, when I first got out of the AF I joined several different on-line survey forums. It seems ad if it might be an easy way to make some money from home. In the meantime I have completed hundreds of surveys and have gotten about $100, four free books, gift cards, free magazine subscriptions, and other things.

There is one survey group NPDOR that I have taken surveys with for almost 5 years. I have done almost 100 surveys. Yet, I have not once won a prize or gotten any kind of reward. The survey forums where I have received something seem a little more credible, but it's hard to think of these things as anything but a scam when you don't get anything in return for your time.

So, do you do any of the survey forums? Which ones? Either way, what do you think?

Taggie

Over a year ago, while in the fabric store, I saw these cute baby blankets with tags. At the time, Bubba was about 4-5 months old and really enjoyed playing with tags on just about everything. I thought this Taggie was something he might really enjoy so I took a picture of the one in the store. They were selling them for $20-25 each! After thinking about it for a few days, I decided to buy one of their kits for two reasons: 1) I would get the instructions as well as fabric and ribbons to make the first one and 2) it felt a bit like stealing to take a picture of it knowing I was going to try to make them.

I made Bubba the taggie from the kit but it was too big for him to hold when he was small. He still slept with it all the time and liked to hold on to it but couldn't really carry it around. Now, he still sleeps with it and I think enjoys having it. It hasn't turned into a "lovey" or something he absolutely has to have (which is good) but I think it helps to have a bit of home with him wherever he is.

Recently, I made several more for new babies and/or baby showers. I changed the pattern a bit and made them smaller so the babies could hold them more easily. I also used flannel for one side instead of the minky fabric on both sides which is how Bubba's was made. 

I have found patterns for taggies on various websites and blogs (just google it or let me know and I'll get you a link and/or the pattern). I wish I had found them sooner so I wouldn't have had to pay for the first kit. It all worked out in the end though so it's all good. 

Birthdays

At this point in my life, it feels a little silly to get excited about birthdays. Every year, I tell myself it's really just another day, nothing special. Then, the day comes and I'm disappointed that it's just another day, nothing special.

It's been forever since I had a birthday party - sophomore year at the Academy is the last one I really remember. My friend Carrie tried to have a party thing for me once when we were Lts...no one showed up except Carrie, her husband and a sort of friend. That kind of turned me off having parties - the fear of no one showing up is a great motivator. Not really the right word, since it motivates me not to have a party but somehow seems to fit...

I opened a box this morning thinking it might be a birthday present (it arrived yesterday after all) and instead it was magazines and books. Stuff I want to read/look at but not really what you want to receive on your birthday. Then, I opened a card thinking it was going to be a birthday card and it was probably the saddest, most depressing card I've gotten in a while, if ever. The fact that it said "Happy Birthday" doesn't really change that it wasn't a birthday card and the content was not happy nor birthday related.

Luckily, I woke up this morning with my wonderful husband and amazing little Bubba - and all is well with the world. Bubba was in a  great mood and we found a couple good Elmo songs to watch on You Tube as Daddy was showering. Then we all had a nice breakfast together before my husband left for work.

Yesterday, Bubba and I were taking a nap when I was rudely awakened by an EARTHQUAKE. My first one. I was a bit shaken up :) but otherwise OK. Bubba pretty much slept through the whole thing - he woke up briefly when I picked him up to take him downstairs but then went right back to sleep.

A few things fell off counters but the only real casualty was a David Winter cottage. Unfortunately, it was one of my favorites. Abby Ruins - I got it when I was TDY to England about 12 years ago. It got smashed pretty good - no hope of fixing it. Gouged the antique hutch as it fell too...It could have been much worse though. I'm sorry it was something that had special meaning for me but I'm glad it wasn't something I really cared about or that couldn't be replaced. 

Now, I'm off to check Facebook and respond to random birthday wishes. 

Flag Quilt - It's Finished!

I've been working on my flag quilt for years (read about it here). I finally finished it last week! While my parents were here, we got a bar to hang it and got it hung up (with a little straightening help from hubby). Personally, I think it looks awesome! It's not perfect but I'm so happy to have it up. Not only does it look great but when I look at it I feel a huge amount of pride in knowing that I started and finished such a cool project.

I've got a ton of other projects waiting to be started and/or finished: stacking alphabet blocks for Bubba, place mats and runner, a quilt for the guest bed, another flag wall hanging...and that's just a few of the quilting projects I'm thinking of. As I've mentioned numerous times, I also want to get back to scrapbooking. I enjoy looking through the books I finished on my USAFA years, so I'd really like to do books for the rest of my time in the AF - as well as finish Bubba's baby book. I need a couple more hours in the day, the ability to sleep less without getting a headache, and/or a better schedule for my day...or all of the above! 

Nook

My parents came for a visit this weekend. My dad was part of a motorcycle trip for Victory Motorcycles and Wounded Warriors and came into town Wednesday afternoon. It's always great to see them and see how much they love Bubba...

Since my birthday is coming up they gave me my present a few days early. I got a Nook! We've been debating which to buy: a regular Nook, the new color Nook, or the Kindle. As much fun as the color Nook might have been with Bubba - I'm kind of glad the decision is out of my hands. Now I have an eReader and can read where ever I want. It's awesome. They also got all kinds of extras including a cover - it's pink which is nice change from always buying black and/or blue stuff.

I already had a ton of books on my Nook account from the iPhone app (which was another reason we were leaning towards the Nook). They are all classics I got for free during a Barnes & Noble promotion last year. Every week you could get up to 10 free classics - I got all of them! Looking forward to reading some new (for me) classics such as "The Time Machine" and "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" as well as rereading others. 

What a great present! Thanks, Mom & Pappi! :)
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I'm trying something out with the links - I only did it with the first two (Victory and Wounded Warriors). Let me know if they open in a new window for you. Thanks!