Monday, April 11, 2011

Tier One

Is it wrong to feel bad about constantly losing at "Words With Friends"? I guess it wasn't really that I was losing so much as my step-mother saying "good job" when I set her up for an 87 point word. Of course, I was trying to set myself up and took the chance she couldn't play there (wrong)...

I don't think it was even the game or that word so much as what she said and how it made me feel. Was she being insensitive or just not thinking? Or was I (am I?) taking it too personally? Would I have taken it so personally if there hadn't been some other things that recently happened...?

One of my favorite artists is Harry Connick Jr. A couple weeks ago, he performed in my hometown for a fundraiser at my church. My step-dad and step-mother turned it into a big family event. They never even mentioned it to me, even though I'm only 5-6 hours away and could have turned it into a trip home. Two weeks later my step-mother hosted her annual Salvation Army luncheon and again, invited all my sisters but never even mentioned it to me. Finally, a couple weeks ago we sent out 20 packages of pictures of our Little Man (including some not-to-cheap professional portraits) and some family pictures to family members. Only three people even acknowledged they received the package. What's that all about?

My husband says not to take it personally since it's probably not about me, it's just an example of "out of sight - out of mind." For the last year he has been trying to get me to think more about "Tier One" - myself, my husband and my son. That's who I should think about, make plans for and worry about - no one else.

I just can't figure out how to make myself not care. I'm not the best about keeping in touch - calling, writing, etc. but it still hurts when my family doesn't seem to care at all. So for now, I just try to repeat "Tier One, Tier One, Tier One"...and hope the hurt goes away...

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