Friday, January 14, 2011

Wake-up Call

    For the last few days I have been tied to my bed. Not literally of course, but close enough. I somehow hurt my back Tuesday morning and it has been a slow road back.
    Anyone who knows me, knows I have had a life-long battle with my weight. I even have a second blog dedicated to that battle. I've tried pretty much every diet out there, some of them more than once. I know what I need to do (eat less, move more) but haven't found the right motivation (other than "be thin") to kick my butt in gear. I think maybe this past week has shown me what the future has in store if I don't make some serious changes - now.
    It has been miserable to lay in bed and watch my husband take care of everything (work, house, dinner, the baby, etc) and know that I was not only not contributing but was actually adding to the work load. For the first day or two I couldn't even pick the baby up and if he was in my arms it was excruciating if he wiggled at all. Ever hear of an 11-month old who doesn't wiggle? Me neither.
    That's not how I want my life to be. I want to be able to participate in family activities - fun, active activities. I want to watch my son grow up and to be a full participant in his growing up. I want to be able to go for a hike with my husband and not worry about whether or not I can make it to the top. I want to go for a bike ride and really enjoy it instead of always thinking about whether or not I have enough energy for the return trip. I want to be part of life not just watch it. Most of all, I want to use this body God has blessed me with for living life instead of abusing it and wishing things were different.
    Just the other day I was commenting on how I don't seem to have the "right" kind of motivation to lose weight and get healthy - now it seems I do. Living life is more than just being thin or fitting into a smaller size of clothing. It's about being an active participant. Whenever I'm about to make a bad choice or skip a walk, I need to remind myself how it felt not being able to pick up my son or to sit on the floor and play with him. If that's not a kick in the butt, I'm not sure what is...

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