Rimor Vita

Random Thoughts

2011-12-16T09:13:00.000-06:00

As I sit here watching "Harold and the Purple Crayon" with Bubba I keep thinking of different things I want to write about. Not anything big or special, just lots of random thoughts floating around in my head.

Have you heard of Harold? I thought everyone had, but it seems as if not everyone has. It's a great concept and one I have remembered since I was younger. When Harold can't sleep at night, he uses his purple crayon to create adventures. Whatever he draws becomes "real." It's very simple, simple story lines, simple characters, etc. None of the fast paced, over-stimulating stuff of current kids shows. Bubba loves it. I do too.

I still have a ton to do before we're ready for Christmas. I keep thinking I'm ahead of the power curve but it turns out that I'm not. I think I was at one point - I had most of the presents taken care of a while ago. It's the wrapping and sending that's taking longer than I planned. I mailed several boxes earlier this week but have at least three left. Then I still need to wrap all of our own presents. My parents are coming to spend Christmas with us and will be here Friday so I need to finish soon. We also still need to plan our menus. My wonderful husband is feeling very Italian lately and wants to do the Feast of the Seven Fishes for Christmas Eve. We've thought of about four or five fish dishes but I'd like to talk it over with my step-mom since she's the big cook.

I've kind of been out of control lately with buying books and Project Life materials. I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to go on a book diet in 2012 and I think that made me react like I always do to any diets - I want more of what I can't have. So, I guess you could say, I'm stocking up. My plan is for at least the first quarter of 2012 to refrain from buying any new books (including Kindle or Nook books). We have so many books, we even have some in storage! I need to read what we've got so I can pass them on and not move with them again. We'll see how it goes - I'm kind of a book addict. There are worse things I guess...

Bubba is ready for nap time so rambling is done for now...thanks for listening.

WW - Old Family Pictures

2011-12-07T08:09:00.002-06:00

My Great-Grandma and one of her uncles...

Christmas at the White House

2011-12-05T12:51:00.001-06:00

I am lucky enough to have visited the White House three times so far. The first time was with my grandfather, just weeks before I entered Basic Training. The second was about 5-6 years ago while I was an Intern at the Pentagon. The third time was last week!

I was able to get an invitation to the White House Press Event on 30 Nov 11 from the National Military Family Association. I was a little nervous because I wasn't really sure where to go or what to do. My wonderful husband took me to brunch at the Old Ebbett Grill and then walked me to the White House. He even waited with me for a bit until I got up the nerve to attach myself to a few other people who were waiting to go in.

Once inside, we were allowed to walk around on our own and really take our time looking at the decorations and other exhibits. I think because it was the press event, we were even allowed to take pictures.

Washington's Plate

We got to see several rooms that aren't usually open to the public (as far as I know). The Vermeil Room had six or seven official portraits of former First Ladies, including a very haunting portrait of Jackie Kennedy. Secretary Clinton's portrait was out in the hall. I don't think I saw Laura Bush's portrait - wonder where it is or if I just missed it...The China Room had a beautiful table set with china from the Bush presidency. It also had pieces from each previous china set on display including some pieces from George Washington's presidency.

Theme for this year

I could have spent a lot more time in the library looking at the books. They had some old White House Christmas cards on display including a really cool one with the 8th Air Force insignia on it. They were replicas, but still neat to see. Speaking of old White House cards, in one of the hallways, they had all of the previous cards on display. It's interesting that for Eisenhower all of his cards were very simple - just the Presidential Seal.

Official White House Tree

The official Christmas tree (one of 37 trees!) in the Blue Room was huge. I couldn't get a picture of the whole thing. It was decorated with pictures from military children around the world as well as ornaments made out of the material used for military medals. Interesting idea, at the same time I felt as if it were somehow trivializing what those medals stand for to use them as decorative material. One neat detail was that the tree skirt had buttons from military dress uniforms.

400 pound White House Gingerbread

There were so many cool things, such as the traditional White House gingerbread house (400 lbs!), the many different "Bo" decorations including a large one made with felt, one out of buttons and another one made from marshmallows and licorice, and one somewhat dark and scary nativity scene.

First Lady Michelle Obama

The highlight was seeing/hearing First Lady Michelle Obama speak in person. What an amazing surprise. Although the bigger surprise may have been that I liked her speech. The only thing I didn't like was that she said something along the lines of not wanting anyone to ever have to ask again what a Gold Star family is but then never actually told people what it was. (In case you are wondering, Gold Star families have lost a family member in the service. Blue Star families have a family member in the service.) Mrs. Obama mentioned that we were the first group to go through the White House of the over 85,000 visitors expected this season - neat to be part of that. Overall, it was pretty cool to see how a "press conference" happens.

The large felt Bo

I met another Association volunteer and had a nice time walking around with her and talking with her. It's so much nicer to share an event with someone instead of walking around by yourself. We also met a Gold Star wife and walked around with her a bit. She was nice enough to share some of her pictures since she had brought an actual camera and not just her phone.

There are quite a few articles and probably much better pictures on the Internet if you want to read/see more.

WW - Grandma's Welcome Mat

2011-11-30T08:40:00.001-06:00

Things I Love A to Z

2011-11-29T09:16:00.002-06:00

There's a new book out all about things this guy hates...he is such a grouch he wondered if he had something he disliked for every letter. Sad thing is, it will probably be a best-seller. When I saw the book, I wondered if I could list something I love for every letter. (We recently went to someone's house and they had a really cool A to Z wall art thing - I wish I had taken a picture. If you're reading this, can you send me a picture!?) So here's my attempt at things I love A to Z:

A - aquariums, airplanes and art (both the making of art and the seeing of art)

B - balloons, babies (human and others) and bowling

C - crafts and cats (have you seen that YouTube video about the girl who loves cats? The song is even funnier...)

D - dogs (and warm cinnamon/sugar donuts like the ones my sister-in-law made us the other day...YUM)

E - elephants and Easter eggs

F - family (especially Bubba and my husband!) and french fries...the crispier the better, but not burnt.

G - giggles (especially the deep belly laugh kind of giggles that Bubba does) and games

H - hydrangeas and helping people

I - Ireland (I also thought of adding igloo just as a away to say that I love homes - not just my own but you know how sometimes when you go into someone's house and you know right away that it's more than just a house, it's a home? I love that!)

J - jokes (especially kid jokes...favorite: What kind of insect do you find on the moon? *See answer at bottom)

K - kites (and pretty much anything that flies - regardless if it's alive or man-made)

L - the library (I can't wait to visit the Library of Congress!! and one of my favorite cheesy movies is "The Librarian"...is it just me or is Warehouse 13 pretty much the same thing? Either way, love them both)

M - museums and movies

N - new things (even if they are only "new" to me - hand-me-downs & heirlooms rock!)

O - the ocean!

P - pictures (Photo albums), pools and pretty things

Q - Queens and the monarchy...especially European - although the Queen Noor biography is still one of my favorites

R - reading and reenactment (Renaissance fairs, places like Williamsburg, etc)

S - singing, swings and science

T - travel, TV and telling people I love them

U - underwater...though I've never gone scuba diving or even snorkeling

V - values (also, feeling as if you and others are of value to the world...)

W - writing and water (being on it, in it, around it, near it....)

X - XOXOXOX (does that count? I do really love hugs and kisses but also couldn't think of anything other than X-rays and xylophones...both of which are cool in their own way, I'm just not sure I love them...)

Y - yellow (it's actually not my favorite color but it's so cheerful and as an accent with blue is completely refreshing to me)

Z - the Zoo

This turned out kind of random (or is it rambling?) but fun. Most of these popped right into my head and are things I enjoyed as a kid too. Somehow along the way of growing up I forgot about a lot of these. I'm blessed to have the opportunity to relearn them.

* Answer to my favorite joke ever: Lunar Ticks!!

Rubber Ducks

2011-11-28T09:03:00.002-06:00

This past week we went to NJ to visit family. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Bubba really enjoyed playing with his cousins. I'm always amazed at how some young adults are so good with toddlers. Luckily, Bubba's cousins fall into that boat - they were great with him.

Speaking of boats and falling...While we were in beautiful Mt Tabor, NJ (if we had the money for a second home, this place would be on the list) I happened to be flipping through my nephew's Earth Science textbook. Yes, I know that makes me a supergeek (maybe I should get a cool shirt made to look like Superman but with an S and a G for SuperGeek!?). There was this neat write up about 29,000 rubber ducks (and green frogs and some other stuff) that fell off a container ship in 1992 and how the ducks' voyages have helped scientists learn more about ocean currents. What a cool way to learn about oceans, continents and the earth as a whole.

Of course one of the first things I did when I got the chance was to Google it. Turns out there's a website dedicated to those little ducks (actually rubber ducks in general but close enough). Eric Carle (from The Hungry Caterpillar fame) even wrote a book about it. How cool is that? I thought it was this obscure write up in a text book and there is so much more to it. There is a good article about it from 2007 which you can read here.

http://www.lindasog.com/archives/2007/07/voyage_of_the_rubber_duckie.html

I could have spent hours flipping through my nephew's textbooks (the Earth Science one as well as a Literature textbook). When I was his age, I probably felt a bit as he does about homework. Who likes to read when it's an assignment? But reading just for the pure enjoyment of it? Just because it interests you and you are learning something new...that's the best!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T09:59:00.000-06:00

Not the only turkey we had, but it was a good start!

WW - Weird Fruit?

2011-11-23T09:37:00.002-06:00

Anyone know what kind of fruit this is (if it is a fruit)? Mango?

Rosemary Cornbread

2011-11-21T10:27:00.001-06:00

We are having Thanksgiving with family again this year. And once again, we don't have to cook! We did volunteer to bring a few things though so hopefully that will help alleviate some of the guilt at not doing much of the cooking.

Imagine two eggs in front...

One of my favorite things this time of year is Rosemary Cornbread. I found the recipe 7-8 years ago and have made it almost as many times. Every time, I wonder why I wait until the holidays to make it. It's so easy and tastes great!

All you need is 2 boxes of Jiffy Corn Bread mix, 2 eggs (lightly beaten), 8oz plain yogurt, 1-2 7.5 oz cans whole kernel corn (I only use one because I think it's "too corny" with 2 cans) and 1 Tbsp rosemary. Mix it all together, pour it into a greased (spray) 9x13 pan and bake 20-25 minutes.

It's a nice change from plain cornbread and goes great with turkey and gravy. If you get a chance to make it, let me know what you think.

Military Memories 2

2011-11-17T08:53:00.007-06:00

My father was in the Army and served in Vietnam. Even in high school I would read books about Vietnam and biographies from platoon leaders during that conflict. Finally, after my first deployment, I felt as if I could understand some little scrap of what he went through. It was something, but not enough...

Southeast and Southwest

Similar -

but vastly different

You went your way;

I went mine

Southeast Asia -

No choices;

no support

Three tours -

such a long time

Making changes;

some you saw then and some now

Southwest Asia -

I asked to go;

support is waning

Sixty days -

not long enough

Making changes;

using what I've learned

to prepare for the next time.

WW - Beach Sunset

2011-11-16T09:26:00.002-06:00

(Hope to have more beach photos after our trip to Florida...)

Rapunzel Hair Clip Holder

2011-11-14T09:29:00.001-06:00

One of the more fun things I have made recently was a pair of Rapunzel hair clip organizers for my two nieces. They love the Disney movie "Tangled" and have a ton of hair clips and ribbons, so I thought they might enjoy these organizers.

They were very easy to make (see the directions here). When you read the directions and see "3 yards" of yarn - make sure you use the correct length. 3 yards comes out to around 9 feet which seems like an awful lot of yarn. However, as you can see from the picture, the first one I made ended up quite short since I thought 9 feet of yarn must be an error. The second one turned out much better after using the appropriate amount of yarn. After all, if it's going to represent Rapunzel it has to be long, long, long.

The best part was giving them to my nieces. Instead of using them for hair clips they used them as pretend wigs! They put them on their heads and kept them there with head bands around their chins and danced around as if they were Rapunzel. Very cute and very satisfying.

Military Memories

2011-11-10T08:46:00.004-06:00

Veteran's Day is tomorrow...

I have so many memories, good and bad, of my time in the Air Force. Below is one of the ways I set some of those memories to paper...

Coming Home

Dog tags chanting in the wind -

M-60s pointing at the wire

Tents placed in rows -

uniforms and civies hung side by side

Favorite shows watched again and again -

painting a picture of endless possibilities

M*A*S*H and China Beach -

someone else's ideas; a dream made real

Doing something important -

something to be proud of

Set apart from others -

by location and sense of duty

A wish to serve -

to go where others won't

Sunsets over sand dunes -

foreign tongues and customs

The sense of deja vu -

finally coming home...

WW - Beautiful Mount Vernon

2011-11-09T09:24:00.001-06:00

Appreciating Veterans

2011-11-08T09:04:00.020-06:00

Lately, there have been a lot of articles written about how to "Thank a vet" on Veteran's Day. I even read an article that implied thanking a veteran for their service was a bad thing. The article turned out not to be as bad as I expected but I think part of it was poor choice of words for the title. (You can read the article here. Interestingly, the title has been changed from "When 'Thank you for your service' falls flat" to "For Veterans, is 'thank you for your service' enough? Big difference).

I never really knew what to say when people thanked me for my service. I felt I was just doing my job - and maybe not even doing enough when I was stateside instead of "in the AOR" or the front lines. I think of all the answers I've heard to being thanked my two favorites are a simple "Thank you for your support" and "It's my privilege to serve."

---

There are numerous organizations out there where veterans can find support. There are actually so many it's sometimes hard to figure out where to go or who to turn to. It's also hard to figure out which are for real and which may be scams. I had hoped that the Joining Forces initiative would help address some of these issues (see previous post here). However, Joining Forces doesn't seem to be focusing on what is already available and is instead focused on creating job opportunities for veterans and getting big names from Hollywood to make their commercials. If part of their mandate is to "give service members and their families the support they've earned" wouldn't it make sense to create some kind of clearing house kind of thing where people can go and see what all is available for them?

The only place I've seen anything like that is at Operation Homefront Missouri, where they try to help people figure out which organization or service best fits their needs. Unfortunately, it is more of a local level thing. I had hoped "Joining Forces" would do the same thing on a national level. Maybe they have a plan for it? Might have been good to start with that in my opinion...

---

One of my recent pet peeves is how a lot of the new veteran organizations (sometimes even the old ones) specify that they are here specifically for Iraq and Afghanistan vets. Now, I know there are a lot of them. I also know they they have a lot of issues including a high unemployment rate and high rate of homelessness. However, I am not a vet of either Iraq or Afghanistan. But I did deploy for SOUTHERN WATCH and ALLIED FORCE. Does my service not count because no one remembers those missions? That's sure what it seems like...

I may not need the same help that some of the men and women returning from Iraq or Afghanistan do, but telling me (and thousands of others) that we don't qualify for aid because we served in a different part of the world or at a different time doesn't seem quite right either. Is it wrong of me to think that way? I'm not saying there shouldn't be something just for them, just as we have organizations for Vietnam Vets and Korean War Vets. But, why does it seem as if so many of the new organizations established to help and/or support veterans specifically say "for Iraq and/or Afghanistan" vets? Where is the support for the "I served but didn't deploy for any of the high-visibility stuff" veterans?
---
Well, I don't want to get any deeper into my pet peeve for fear that I'll start sounding like an ignorant dufus...I love my country; I love that I served and wish I could have done more; I love that people out there support the troops and our veterans..that's all that really matters in the end.

Something Diferent

2011-11-03T09:25:00.000-05:00

I don't talk about my faith very much. Probably because I don't feel I have the right (lest people throw stones) nor do I want to make others uncomfortable with their own choices. However, since Theme Thursday is all about opening myself up (and perhaps thickening my skin) I offer you something different today.

A Song For the Father

I sing for Your mercy -

I sing for Your glory -

I sing for Your power, my God.

Lord, I sing a song of praise for You,

a song of praise You long to hear -

rushing from my lips to Your waiting ears.

Lord, You are my God, the one and only Rock.

I bask in Your love and forgiveness -

knowing that You, my Father, are here.

Lord, I sing a song of praise for You.

Praise for Your wisdom, truth and hope -

Father, I want to come home.

WW - My Boys

2011-11-02T08:13:00.000-05:00

Broccoli Cheddar Soup

2011-10-31T10:38:00.000-05:00

I saw a post the other day about homemade broccoli cheddar soup (you can read original post here). Once I saw it, I couldn't get it out of my mind. Luckily, my husband is willing to put up with my little obsessions and gamely agreed I could make it for dinner.

While at the grocery store I saw a box of organic cream of broccoli. For a few seconds I thought about just buying it and adding cheddar to make it cheesy. Maybe I should have but I enjoyed making the soup from scratch and overall thought it went well and tasted good.

I couldn't find any small bread "rounds" so had to get a big one. Way too big. We ended up sharing the bread but it was still way too much. The broccoli probably should have been steamed a bit longer since it ended up still being quite crunchy (even after it was pureed and heated in the soup). My husband told me to stop analyzing and just enjoy - eventually I did and must say that warm, creamy soup in a bread bowl on a cold day was really nice.

Masks

2011-10-27T08:54:00.001-05:00

The idea of wearing a mask seems to be very similar to the idea of wearing different hats. We all wear different hats at different times, depending on where we are, what we are doing or what is expected...are masks so very different?

The Mask

Unhappy and unfulfilled -

living a life for show

worried about appearance -

fear of falling short

wondering what others think -

trying to measure up

losing the will -

then pushing on

not letting go -

stubborn pride

afraid of being a failure -

recognition masking truth.

Shipping Cost Conundrum

2011-10-26T12:02:00.003-05:00

Goldfish Costume

2011-10-24T10:05:00.001-05:00

I saw this costume idea last year...after I'd already bought a personalized astronaut costume for Bubba. I've been thinking about it for a year, gathering supplies and thinking of how cute Bubba would look in it. I figured this might be the last Halloween where I get to pick what his costume is...

You'd be amazed how hard it is to find an orange sweatshirt. Especially if you don't want a Florida Gator on it. The orange hat wasn't much easier. The costume actually called for an orange hoody - even harder to find than a plain sweatshirt. Plus, I figured Bubba was more likely to wear a hat than the hoody so it worked out OK.

The hardest part was finding the right glue for paper onto fabric. One of the issues was that I didn't want to ruin the sweatshirt - I would prefer it if we could still use it after Halloween. Amazingly enough, I ended up using Elmer's Glue. Supposedly it will come off in the wash. We'll see...

Bubba wore the costume Friday night for Boo at the Zoo. My parents came down to go with us and we met up with my cousin and her family there. It was fun but I would have liked to have seen more animals...Quite a few people commented on the cute goldfish which made me feel better about all the effort I put into it. Though to be honest, once I had gathered all the supplies, making it was actually the easy part.

Have you ever made a Halloween costume for your kids or yourself? How'd it turn out?

Apple Picking

2011-10-21T09:31:00.003-05:00

On Monday, we took a road trip to visit a friend who was passing through the area. We had some time before she arrived to go apple picking at an orchard. Bubba had a good time - the first one he picked went right into his mouth

The few times I went apple picking last year, it was only Bubba and I. This time my husband was able to get the day off so he could go with us. I was happy that both my boys were there with me. We had such a beautiful day for it. Clear blue sky, slight breeze, beautiful area...all of it made for a great road trip and family outing. In case you missed them, there are two more pictures from the trip on my Wordless Wednesday post which you can find here.

One of my favorite things to make with apples is a really easy apple crisp. We have enough apples to make some other things too...do you have any recommendations for what I should try?

Seeing is Believing

2011-10-20T08:41:00.000-05:00

This is a little more "personal" than some of the others...written in October 1997...

Seeing is Believing

I see what I want to see,

even when it's not there...

I see friendship,

then learn it's an acquaintance -

I see interest,

then learn it's only boredom -

I see truth,

then learn the darkness of deception -

I see joy,

then learn what it means to be shunned -

I see what I need to see,

evading loneliness and fear for one more day...

WW - Beautiful Apples

2011-10-19T11:26:00.001-05:00

American Wife Books

2011-10-14T09:26:00.002-05:00

I recently finished reading "American Wife" by Curtis Sittenfeld. I wish I had finished reading Laura Bush's biography first but despite that, it was a good book and I enjoyed it.

One of the things I enjoyed the most about it was all the other books that were mentioned as the lead character's favorites. I have already added many of them to my Barnes & Noble wish list. Though there are so many books on both my bookshelves and the wish list, I'm not sure when I'll get to them...There are quite a few:

Deenie; Roll of Thunder, Hear Me Cry; The Golden Notebook; A Wrinkle in Time; The Golden Notebook; Anastasia Krupnik; Autumn Street; The Westing Game; I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings; Dicey's Song; A Solitary Blue; The Great Santini; Locked in Time; A Tree Grows in Brooklyn; Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes; Rabbit, Run

Have you read any of these? Any recommendations as to which I should read first?

Addicted to Time

2011-10-13T08:47:00.004-05:00

This was written over 12 years ago...unfortunately, it seems we are even more tied to the clock than we were back then...

Addicted to Time

Addicted to time -

No one must wait

Live by the clock -

Be the first to the gate

Time won't stand still -

Pages are turned

Keep an eye on your watch -

This addiction you've earned

The promotion you worked for -

Brings more than you thought

Your life passes by -

As you watch the clock.

Dinosaur Food

2011-10-12T10:36:00.002-05:00

I have been a bit obsessed lately with the idea of Dinosaur Food a.k.a kale chips. I first heard about them in a Tweet from Soleil Moon Frye (@moonfrye). You can find the original post/recipe here.

I think kale is such a pretty vegetable. It's bright green and the leaves are so pretty - curly and just fresh looking. Looking at it just makes me want to use it in something...hence the kale chips. I'm not sure how else to use it yet. I'm sure I'll find something good. In the mean time, crispy superfood - awesome!

Even ripped up into little pieces, kale still looks good...The recipe says to bake for 15-20 minutes. I'm not sure what kind of oven the poster was using but my first batch was way too well done after only 12 minutes. They turned out very bitter and burnt tasting. I don't think even dinosaurs would have eaten them...

The second batch has turned out a bit better. I took some pictures but none of them look very good. Trust me that the chips look pretty good. They still have a nice green color and aren't bitter like the first batch. I probably should have left them in the oven another minute or so but was too worried about burning them. They are very brittle/fragile and I can't imagine they'd last very long so I'm glad I only made a small batch this time. I'll have to wait and see if the husband and/or Bubba will like them or not.

The Rose

2011-10-06T08:31:00.002-05:00

For this week's Theme Thursday...let me know what you think.

The Rose

A single rose -

wilted and bent

The vibrant life inside -

all but gone

Fighting to survive -

questioning the need

Dried and wrinkled petals -

more delicate in their haunting beauty than ever before

Beauty brought about through pain -

the pain of loss with memories of joy

A single rose -

wilted and bent

Worth more for its age -

than a dozen in their youth.

Yarn Wreath

2011-10-05T09:37:00.005-05:00

Yarn Wreaths seem to be all over blogland these days. Looking at other people's posts on the subject, I've learned yarn wreaths have actually been around for a while - I just never saw them before now. They look so cool and the tutorials looked so easy, I thought I'd try to make one for fall. I've been in a craft desert lately keeping busy with moving in, dealing with headaches and trying to get organized. I really needed to do something quick and easy so I could see my finished product and feel as if I accomplished something. The yarn wreath looked as if it would fit the bill.

First, I should have realized that when Beth from "The Stories of A to Z" said wrap the yarn around the wreath "until the cows come home" (read her tutorial here) that it might take a while. Especially since I had to wrap the wreath twice to make sure you couldn't see the wreath form. It took me about 3 hours or so (late, late at night when both my boys were sleeping...). I'm just glad I got a small wreath. Not that I had much choice, Michael's only had one wreath form left. At first I thought it would be too small, but now I'm happy I started with a small one.

The flowers were easy thanks to Beth's awesome video showing how to do it. I don't think mine turned out so great but for my first try, I'm pretty happy with them. Of course, I had to go buy a glue gun but I needed one anyway for another project I have in mind. I just used felt not fleece but I might try that for the flowers on the next wreath.

Overall, I like how it turned out. I'm going to send it to my grandmother in Florida. I think she'll like it since they don't really get fall colors down there. I'm planning on getting her a wreath hanging hook to go with it since I don't want her to have to buy one. Or I may just make some kind of loop from the leftover yarn so she can hang it from that. I'm already thinking about what colors I want to use for my next wreath...I just need to get some other stuff done first...

Why Blog?

2011-10-03T08:59:00.003-05:00

Lately I have been feeling as if I should be doing something other than blogging. As much as I enjoy the writing aspect of blogging, I feel bad when no one reads what I post and/or doesn't comment.

Part of that is because of my privacy settings which might hamper the amount of readers I get. Part of it may be that I don't have an actual "theme" for my blog - I just write about what I think at that particular time. Whatever it is, I don't seem to have any readers and those I do either don't or can't comment. Add to that the fact that I should/could be doing other things (housework, planning stuff to do with Bubba, organizing, scrapbooking, etc.) and it almost seems as if I'm wasting my time.

One of my friends, and essentially only reader of my blog, tried to comment on another post the other day and couldn't. He sent me a note telling me what he had wanted to say in his comment. In the note he told me he also went through a time when he analyzed why he blogs. He came up with three reasons: "I have something to say on a topic, I want to share those thoughts with others, and I want to have a dialog with others on the topic." He went on to say that even if there is no dialogue (no one comments on his posts) he knows he still has two other reasons to continue writing.

Reading his words made me start to wonder why I blog myself. I started this blog at the end of 2008. It was one of my 2009 goals and in my excitement, I started it a bit early. For as long as I can remember, I've loved to write. I can also admit that I love hearing people tell me they enjoyed what I wrote or that it was "good"...I also have a lot of opinions and a lot to say. Not on everything, but on things that interest me. After leaving the Air Force and becoming a stay at home mom, I needed/need an outlet for those thoughts and opinions. Blogging seemed like a good outlet - as opposed to saving them up to share with my husband in the 10 minutes before we fall asleep...

So, I blog for essentially the same reasons as my friend - I have something I want to say and I want to share my thoughts with others. I would really like it if people would let me know what they think on that particular subject and/or what I've written but I think the writing itself is what's most important for me. So, on that note, I guess I'll continue to post for now. If no one is commenting, it's probably not so much a "comment" on my writing as it is their lack of time, blog know-how, or simple lack of interest in the topic I chose that day. Easy to say, hard to internalize - especially for those of us with thin skin. Maybe this is all just good experience to help me get thicker skin for when I finally write that book and have to send it to numerous publishers...hmmm...we'll see.

Sharing Thoughts

2011-09-29T09:42:00.001-05:00

I've been debating for the last couple weeks if I want to keep sharing my poems...I'm torn. I feel as if by posting them, I'm at least doing something - putting them out there into the world instead of hoarding them. However, when you share something you're very proud of and get no response, it's a bit of a blow...I guess I knew it might be tough from the beginning when I talked about my thin skin. We'll see if by continuing to post, I can make it a bit thicker...

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts -

meaningless to anyone other than me

Would that change -

if they knew what it all meant?

Would they take the time to see me -

in all the words?

Will I ever have the courage to share -

knowing I won't be able to explain, even if I could?

Random thoughts -

my life on paper

Fears, hidden in words -

dreams, revealed with care.

Funky Sizing

2011-09-28T09:19:00.002-05:00

Abbey Ruins

2011-09-26T13:08:00.005-05:00

As you may recall, in the post about my recent birthday (read it here) I discussed how one of my David Winter Cottages broke during the earthquake. As a wonderful surprise, one of my friends found a new one for me. He's actually the one who started my collection. I'd liked David Winter cottages for quite a while since my step-mother was a collector (mostly the castles). My friend gave me my first two cottages (I bought a third from him) and now he has given me another one. That means he is directly responsible for over half of my collection! Pretty good way to remember a friendship...

As you can see by the picture, the new one seems to be in better shape than my old one. You can definitely tell when comparing the two side by side that these cottages are hand painted and no two are exactly alike. The colors in my new "Abbey Ruins" are much brighter and well, more colorful.

Thank you, trebord, for the wonderful gift!

100 Days

2011-09-23T08:26:00.004-05:00

Actually, it's 99 days. Yesterday was the day when it was 100 days until the end of the year. I just thought 100 days sounded better than 99 for a title...

I don't remember ever even thinking about things like "100 days left" in a year. This year it seems to be all over Twitter. I wonder how come?

Anyway, my problem is that as soon as I saw "100 days left in the year" I started thinking of all the things I might be able to get done in that time. If you've read any of my past posts, you know I've always got lists of things I want to do and get done. So of course, ever since yesterday, I keep thinking of things to add to the "get done in the next 100 days" list. The fact that I didn't even get the blog done until 99 days should tell you something...it's been a busy week.

So here are a few things I've been thinking:

Lose 10 pounds - pretty doable considering I have almost 100 days to do it (would be great if it ends up being more than 10...)

Start walking again (a couple/few times a week)

Start the McGuire scrapbook and get at least three months worth of pages done

Sort through "stuff" - enough to take three trips to Goodwill (or throw the stuff away)

Doesn't seem like too much...most are things that can be done at the same time. A quote I recently saw was something along the lines of "the bridge between goals and accomplishments is discipline." So, I guess we'll see if I manage to accomplish any of these in the next 99 days...it's worth a shot, right?

The Reward

2011-09-22T09:15:00.004-05:00

I wrote the following in the spring of 1999. I don't remember what was going on at the time, just that I was starting to feel like an old maid...

The Reward

A memory lasts

in the mind and it's dreams -

Adding it's texture

as a rock in a stream

Care must be taken

if it isn't to fade -

A key to the future;

a toll that's been paid

Look back to the visions,

the memories you've stored -

Remember them fondly,

they are aging's reward.

Adventure Aquarium

2011-09-21T11:01:00.003-05:00

We went to NJ this weekend to visit some friends. On Monday, Bubba and I went to Adventure Aquarium in Camden, NJ. We arrived about two hours before closing which turned out to be just about perfect. It was almost as if we had a private viewing. We only ran into about 15 other people, total. We didn't have to wait in line or peep around shoulders. Bubba was able to walk around and I didn't have to worry about him taking his time or getting in anyone's way. In other words, it turned out to be a very good experience.

I lived in NJ for two years and never once went to the aquarium. Strange because I love aquariums. I used to go to the one in Boston every chance I got. Actually, I didn't even know Camden had an aquarium until our NJ visit this weekend. All this time, it was just down the road from where I lived when I was there. On another note, I drove by my old apartments (I had two while there). I can't believe I remembered how to get there, probably only because I remembered I lived off of "Exit 5." Seems like everyone in certain parts of NJ give directions based on which Turnpike exit you take...

Anyway, the aquarium has these two HUGE hippos. They were kind of hard to see since the water was so dirty but we waited around so Bubba could see them from the under water window. I didn't get a good picture of their faces but you can see how big they are...out of all the stuffed animals they had in the gift shop, Bubba wanted the hippo. I love hearing him say "Hippo" - don't little kids have the cutest way of saying things?

The aquarium has a ton of things you can touch - sharks, stingrays, jelly fish, star fish, etc. Pretty neat. They even had baby (4 months old) sting rays for the little people to touch. Bubba almost touched one but stuck with just getting his hands wet for the most part. The aquarium also had Purell dispensers all over the place to keep everyone clean.

Of course they also had "Nemo" - lots and lots of Nemos...Bubba didn't want to leave them. Since at some point we did have to leave, he finally settled for looking at the pictures. Once we got into the shark tunnel he totally forgot about Nemo. There's this cool glass tunnel where you walk under the water in their giant shark tank. The sharks are literally swimming around you - pretty cool.

The only downside to the visit was I only had my cell phone to take pictures. I didn't get any good ones in the shark tunnel because it was too dark. I got plenty of pictures but with a good camera would have gotten even better ones.

POW/MIA Remembrance Day

2011-09-16T14:28:00.004-05:00

As today is POW/MIA Remembrance Day, I thought I would share with you a poem I wrote about POWs. I wrote it in November of 1991. I can't really remember what was going on at that moment to bring the words, but I do know I had been reading about POWs since I was in high school and going to the Academy only reinforced that. Out of everything I've written so far, this has remained something I'm most proud of. I used to think about sending it to someone in the POW/MIA remembrance community but didn't know who or where. So I'm sharing it with you now.

Faith and a Prayer (21 Nov 91)

Name, rank and service number –

That’s all I’m going to give.

Please, please, let that be enough –

Just to let us live.

The days drag on –

The months don’t end.

How many years

have we been here, my friend?

The questions have stopped –

Our knowledge is old.

Yet, our cells are still dark –

Our bones are still cold.

A question remains –

Running deep in our hearts.

Why did you leave us –

Did we not do our part?

The years flow by –

There aren’t many left.

Our faces are covered –

In the stillness of death.

Once we believed –

That our country did care.

Now all we have –

Is our faith and a prayer.

Secretary of Defence Leon Panetta gave a good speech today. If you'd like to read it, you can find it here.
____
I'm not sure why the intro paragraph isn't showing up right...sometimes it's there and sometimes it isn't. Usually, it shows up when I click on the title. Anyone have any ideas why it's not always there? Funny thing it, that's what I was trying to do with the "read more" thing but that wasn't working and I haven't had a chance to try and fix it.

Strands of a Web

2011-09-15T07:44:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if this is exactly a "poem" but it's something I've written, so I'm posting it here for Theme Thursday.

Strands of a Web

memories fill my mind until I can think of nothing else -

I think about things I've done and decisions I've made -

wondering how I ever thought they were for the best -

just as time changes our lives, it changes our perception -

of what our lives were or what might have been -

we see things more clearly and begin to understand -

how actions and decisions molded our lives -

decisions and events become strands of a silken web -

that over time grows in size and strength -

adding beauty and color to our lives -

silently threatening to trap us -

within the memories of what life once was.

I wrote this in October of 1997 - about 16 months after graduating from the Academy and two months after moving from Recruiting in PA to Aircraft Maintenance in NJ.

Underwhelmed

2011-09-14T08:56:00.005-05:00

So, the OSC function yesterday did not go quite as expected...as in I'm not sure if I've ever felt less welcomed anywhere.

On the OSC website was the following statement:
"Whether you are new to the area or have been here for years, you will enjoy our Super Sign-up. You can find out about our club and all our great Activities and you'll also learn about other groups and things to do in our area."

I had made a conscious decision not to bring cash to the event because I knew they were supposed to have a lot of crafts and other neat things to look at and buy and I didn't want to buy anything. I still think this was a good thing, especially now as I realize I probably would have felt pressured to pay the membership fee before I had even learned anything about the club.

I wish I had handled the whole thing better in person, but was so surprised at having been "dismissed" that I just wanted to get out of there and not go back...still not sure if I'll participate in any of their events at this point - they just left a really bad taste in my mouth...

Below is the e-mail I sent to the person in charge of the information fair as well as to the "info@ OSC" e-mail provided on their website. There was a lot more I wanted to say but I felt that getting too into my hurt feelings and emotions would only get in the way...Take a look and let me know what you think - too much? Not enough?
___________

To whom it may concern -

I attended the welcome fair yesterday but wanted to let you know I have never felt less welcome at any base I have ever been to.

Based on information on your website, I thought this was an opportunity to get to know your club, see what you had to offer and decide if I wanted to join and participate. Since we just moved here, I had been looking forward to the Info Fair for over a month thinking it would be a good introduction to the base/area.

Upon arrival at the "Welcome" table there was an expressed expectation that I join the BOSC in order to participate in the event. When I stated I did not have any cash and wanted to check it out before joining, I was no longer "welcomed" and was told to mail in a membership form and/or check out the Facebook page and to "have a good day." My impression of having been thus dismissed was reinforced by the fact the woman in front of me was given a "gift bag" (as it seemed were the other women present) and I was not. When I asked if I could look around, I was told "I guess, but you can't sign up for anything since you're not a member."

I'd like to recommend that in the future, if this is truly an information fair, that "Membership" be separate from "Welcome." As you welcome people, you can take their information if they do not want to join right way (thereby keeping track of the number of people who attend and enabling your group to reach out to them later) or if they are interested, point them to the membership side to sign up. It's a small distinction but may help alleviate misconceptions about who is "welcome" and who isn't.

Thank you for your time.

New Place, New People

2011-09-12T10:07:00.001-05:00

We moved about three months ago and so far the only new people I've met and talk to with any regularity are my neighbor and the women at Bubba's daycare. As nice as they are, I don't think we're exactly friends...

Tomorrow is the "Welcome Social" for the local Officer's Spouse's Club. I'm actually looking forward to going and seeing what they have to offer and meeting new people. Judging by their website, they seem like they have lots of interesting things going on: books clubs, a "Tea Time" group that goes to different "Tea" places around the area, a mom's group for play dates and mom's night out events, a crafting group, and a group that just gets together to explore the area. I hope to get a lot of information and see what kind of plan I can come up with to get involved and still have lots of time with Bubba. I already had to promise my husband that I would not volunteer for anything and especially not to be on the board. Easy promise to make...I had enough of being on the Board and dealing with opinionated women at our last base.

Tomorrow's event is supposed to be stroller friendly, so hopefully Bubba will do OK and not get bored too quickly. I figure if I have milk and crackers, he should be good to go. Plus, he loves to see new things and watch people so it should be fun for him too.

I plan on doing some recon today so I can find the Officer's Club more easily tomorrow...I'll let you know how it goes.

Palm of Tomorrow

2011-09-08T09:22:00.004-05:00

I've gone back and forth with myself ever since I wrote the post last Thursday saying I'd share my poetry. Now, I know I only have two or three readers so it really shouldn't make a difference if I share something uber-personal or not. I've only shown my poetry to a handful of people so it's hard to break out of that and "put it all out there." Plus, as I've mentioned before, I'm not sure I have the thick skin needed to withstand harsh critiques of my most personal writing....

Despite all of that, I'm pressing on, thin skin or not. I wrote this on August 21st, 1991. Classes were probably about to start following 9 weeks of summer programs (SERE, Summer Ac, and CONUS for me). I would have been moving into my new squadron meeting all new people. I'm not sure what else to say about the time frame or what I might have been thinking at the time...Do you even want to know the background or prefer to read it "blind?"

The Palm of Tomorrow

Ghosts -

floating in and out of consciousness

Memories -

of days locked in the past.

Keys -

thought lost, or

purposefully misplaced

Suddenly jingling in a dust filled corner.

Pain and anger -

heating the metal to a crisp, red heat

Burning its imprint on the palm of tomorrow.

Drawn by the wizard of confusion -

tumblers fall open, followed by relief

Spirits of tomorrow -

cower unseen, hidden by abrupt flashes of contentment

Balancing on the shoulders of thinly veiled hope.

Scent of Life

2011-09-07T12:15:00.003-05:00

Have you ever smelled something and all of a sudden you were transported to another time and place?

A few months ago I splurged and bought Wheat Germ Oil & Honey shampoo from the Vermont Country Store. The first time I used it (and every time since) I had the strongest memory of the country club we belonged to when I was little. We used to go swim there pretty much every day, every summer. I guess I must have used Faberge's Wheat Germ Oil & Honey shampoo quite a bit one summer since I got such a strong memory of it. The smell of the shampoo brings to mine sunshine, friendship, long, fun days in the water...in other words, a happy childhood.

Another such memory booster is a certain pipe tobacco. I have no idea what it is or what makes the right smell, but when I smell it I always think of Father Garvey. He was the priest at the church my family attended. He presided over my First Communion and numerous confessions. One year the church did a "tubing" trip - I remember hiking in the woods with Father Garvey while he was smoking his pipe. I normally don't like any kind of smoke but when I smell that particular tobacco, it makes me feel young again, safe and secure in knowing life was good and everything was going as it should.

I know there are other smells out there that remind me of different things or moments in time but these two seem to stand out. I wonder if it's because they both remind me of happy times - times when I felt all was right with the world. Whatever it is, I'm glad for it - it's nice to have those memories to think of.

Teenage Obituary

2011-09-05T08:56:00.002-05:00

As I was going through my "Writing Box" I came upon something interesting. Actually, many interesting things but this one will come first...I found an obituary I wrote for myself sometime my senior year of high school or first year at USAFA. I can't remember why I wrote it - I assume it was probably for an assignment of some kind, but who knows? I think those of you who know me will get a kick out of it - either way, it's interesting to see what my 17-18 year old mind thought was important, what would mark a successful, happy life...Maybe something I should think about some more and see how it would be different if I wrote it now.

___

Colonel Sam (actual full name here) died yesterday at the age of 53. She died during a test flight of the new Grey Falcon X-18 when the engines malfunctioned.

Col Sam was a recipient of a Bronze Star when she acted, with no thought for her own safety, and saved the lives of 35 Hungarian refugees as they fled from Soviet military police after a peace rally.

Col Sam graduated from the Air Force Academy in 1994 and went on to pilot training. During a night jump her second year, she fractured both legs and was told she'd never walk again. Overcoming great obstacles, she went through rigorous physical therapy and returned to the Air Force to become the first female fighter pilot.

Col Sam and her husband, Edward Johnson, spent many years in Africa in an effort to make the plight of the endangered elephants more well known. She spent her life doing what she could to save this endangered species.

She is survived by her daughters Elizabeth, a lawyer in New York, and Margaret, a doctor in Louisiana, and her sons Jonathan and Marcus, both of whom are training to become fighter pilots. Her husband, head of Johnson & Johnson, has set the date for the ceremony (to be announced later this week).

Col Sam is donating her organs and other useful parts for medical use and scientific study. She will be cremated with her ashes to be sprinkled over the ocean.

_______

The elephants and Africa are no surprise. Nor is wanting to marry someone fabulously wealthy. Even the Hungarian refugees makes sense considering I used to think about joining the Peace Corps to "help people."

The main thing I get when I read this is a bit of a "super-hero complex" thing - as if I wanted to be remembered for doing great things, for making an impact to the world and the people around me, to leave the world better than I found it.

I guess that's not really a bad thing...it just leaves a lot to live up to. And probably helps explain why I always feel as if I haven't done enough...now I know those feelings started 20 years ago.

What would your obituary say? What makes a successful life to you?

Fear #2

2011-09-02T09:57:00.003-05:00

One of my friends commented on my Fear post from a couple days ago and said one of his greatest fears is "being misunderstood." My immediate thought was that my greatest fear is being ignored or not heard.

Back when I was at the Pentagon I was given a call sign, Ditto. They said it was because I repeat myself all the time. Luckily, it was toward the end of our time there because I was really hurt and offended (thin skin kicking in). I thought because they remarked on (called attention to) a personal "fault" it meant they didn't like me. Every time I opened my mouth I questioned if I was going to be made fun of for repeating myself. So, I think I pretty much stopped talking to most of them and stopped talking in class and/or meetings.

What a waste.

Now that several years have passed I can see it a little more clearly. Call signs usually do make fun of something personal...it's possible they meant it as a "welcome to the club" kind of thing and not meanly, the way I took it.

The biggest thing I realized is that I do repeat myself. All the time. I'm so concerned that people hear and understand me that I sometimes say the same thing (again and again) to make sure the other person/people "got it." It's not really a bad thing. I guess it can be annoying for some people but if they're really my friends, they realize that's just one of my things. Plus, if you listen to me and I repeat something then it's a good sign it's something important to me or something that really means something.

Instead of being embarrassed or fearing people will see a weakness in me, I've tried to embrace my "Ditto-ness." Even as I write this post, I'm wondering, have I talked about this before? Maybe I have, but I guess it's important enough to me to talk about more than once.

So, what's your biggest fear and how do you deal with it?

Theme Thursday

2011-09-01T09:12:00.003-05:00

So, I'm trying something new.

One of the things I talk about quite a bit is wanting to have a plan or some kind of routine. I figured one good place to start is with this blog.

I usually just write based on what I'm thinking about or feeling in a particular moment on a particular day. While I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I've also found it leads my posts to be all over the place. I'm hoping if I have some sort of a plan maybe it will come together a bit better.

One of the things I'm most interested in is writing - hence the blog. But I'm interested in all sorts of writing, and not just my own. I love reading, I love talking about books, I love collecting quotes...and of course I love writing. So, I thought I would start doing "Theme Thursday."

As you may remember from school when you were assigned writing themes - this particular word is not just about a "theme of a play" or something like that. According to the Thesaurus a "theme" is a piece of writing, blurb, commentary, story, think piece, etc. Sounds exactly like what I want to write about and now I know when to do it. Plus, if I do want to have a better explanation for "Theme Thursday" (based on any vague or blank looks based on the other definition of Theme) all I need to say is "Literature is the theme"...because it is...

I've been thinking about doing some kind of book review in addition to tracking the books I read. I've also thought about posting some of the poems I've written. I've collected quotes for a long time and have quite a few of them. I've thought about writing some kind of book using all the quotes I've got - why not start with some blog posts? Lots and lots of juicy ideas waiting to be written down...

If I like the way "Theme Thursday" is going, I might move on to one or two of the other days. Who knows? Let's see how this goes first...let me know what you think.

Fear

2011-08-31T10:04:00.003-05:00

Fear is a great motivator. Fear is also a great equalizer. Fear can also freeze time and stop everything - no forward nor backward movement.

Most people fear something.

Fear of sounding or looking stupid; fear of falling; fear of bugs; fear of flying...they range from those that sound silly to others to those most people can agree are worth fearing. The list of fears is as endless as there are creatures who can know the feeling of fear.

I've been thinking of fear and how it limits us (me) quite a bit the last couple months, even more so in the last day or two.

Those who know me, know for the last 8 years or so, I've had recurring headaches and migraines. I've tried everything from pills, to acupuncture, yoga, more pills, relaxation therapy, aromatherapy, supplements, hot/cold packs, more pills, etc...in other words, just about everything the doctors, well-meaning friends/family, and the internet can throw at me.

I was lucky enough that during my pregnancy and my son's first year I only had three or four migraines and even those were very mild (compared to what I had in the past). Over the last 6 months or so, they've been coming back with a vengeance.

Yesterday was probably the worst one I've had in years. To top it off, I was home alone with my 18 month old son. My husband came home as early as he could but with an hour long commute (not to mention work) he didn't get home until early afternoon. This was the exact fear that plagued me when we discussed having kids in the first place. What would happen if...?

By the afternoon I felt a bit better, but that's when the fear hit. If I go outside with them, will it get worse? If I get out of this bed? If I eat something? If I don't eat something? Round and round trying to second guess what may or may not have caused the migraine or what might bring it back.

I decided that the fear of doing something to make a migraine strike again or make it worse is almost worse than the pain itself. I know that to get rid of a migraine I need solitary, cool, dark, silence - and sometimes meds. But what kind of life will I have it I let the fear drive me into a life of constant solitary, cool, dark, silence?

While I sometimes joke that I go into my cave when I need to get away from life or stress or worries...I don't want to live there. I don't want fear of migraines to force me to live there. Yet, that's all I've known for so long. I had accepted it as my lot. Until I got pregnant and realized that it was possible to feel better and to have a real life with people, outside, in the light, with laughter, music and noise filling the air.

The fear is so much worse and the pain more frightening once you catch a glimpse of what life can and should be like. I want it back.

Surveys

2011-08-29T11:00:00.001-05:00

Does anyone else out there do surveys on line?

Years ago, when I first got out of the AF I joined several different on-line survey forums. It seems ad if it might be an easy way to make some money from home. In the meantime I have completed hundreds of surveys and have gotten about $100, four free books, gift cards, free magazine subscriptions, and other things.

There is one survey group NPDOR that I have taken surveys with for almost 5 years. I have done almost 100 surveys. Yet, I have not once won a prize or gotten any kind of reward. The survey forums where I have received something seem a little more credible, but it's hard to think of these things as anything but a scam when you don't get anything in return for your time.

So, do you do any of the survey forums? Which ones? Either way, what do you think?

Taggie

2011-08-25T09:30:00.003-05:00

Over a year ago, while in the fabric store, I saw these cute baby blankets with tags. At the time, Bubba was about 4-5 months old and really enjoyed playing with tags on just about everything. I thought this Taggie was something he might really enjoy so I took a picture of the one in the store. They were selling them for $20-25 each! After thinking about it for a few days, I decided to buy one of their kits for two reasons: 1) I would get the instructions as well as fabric and ribbons to make the first one and 2) it felt a bit like stealing to take a picture of it knowing I was going to try to make them.

I made Bubba the taggie from the kit but it was too big for him to hold when he was small. He still slept with it all the time and liked to hold on to it but couldn't really carry it around. Now, he still sleeps with it and I think enjoys having it. It hasn't turned into a "lovey" or something he absolutely has to have (which is good) but I think it helps to have a bit of home with him wherever he is.

Recently, I made several more for new babies and/or baby showers. I changed the pattern a bit and made them smaller so the babies could hold them more easily. I also used flannel for one side instead of the minky fabric on both sides which is how Bubba's was made.

I have found patterns for taggies on various websites and blogs (just google it or let me know and I'll get you a link and/or the pattern). I wish I had found them sooner so I wouldn't have had to pay for the first kit. It all worked out in the end though so it's all good.

Birthdays

2011-08-24T09:11:00.005-05:00

At this point in my life, it feels a little silly to get excited about birthdays. Every year, I tell myself it's really just another day, nothing special. Then, the day comes and I'm disappointed that it's just another day, nothing special.

It's been forever since I had a birthday party - sophomore year at the Academy is the last one I really remember. My friend Carrie tried to have a party thing for me once when we were Lts...no one showed up except Carrie, her husband and a sort of friend. That kind of turned me off having parties - the fear of no one showing up is a great motivator. Not really the right word, since it motivates me not to have a party but somehow seems to fit...

I opened a box this morning thinking it might be a birthday present (it arrived yesterday after all) and instead it was magazines and books. Stuff I want to read/look at but not really what you want to receive on your birthday. Then, I opened a card thinking it was going to be a birthday card and it was probably the saddest, most depressing card I've gotten in a while, if ever. The fact that it said "Happy Birthday" doesn't really change that it wasn't a birthday card and the content was not happy nor birthday related.

Luckily, I woke up this morning with my wonderful husband and amazing little Bubba - and all is well with the world. Bubba was in a great mood and we found a couple good Elmo songs to watch on You Tube as Daddy was showering. Then we all had a nice breakfast together before my husband left for work.

Yesterday, Bubba and I were taking a nap when I was rudely awakened by an EARTHQUAKE. My first one. I was a bit shaken up :) but otherwise OK. Bubba pretty much slept through the whole thing - he woke up briefly when I picked him up to take him downstairs but then went right back to sleep.

A few things fell off counters but the only real casualty was a David Winter cottage. Unfortunately, it was one of my favorites. Abby Ruins - I got it when I was TDY to England about 12 years ago. It got smashed pretty good - no hope of fixing it. Gouged the antique hutch as it fell too...It could have been much worse though. I'm sorry it was something that had special meaning for me but I'm glad it wasn't something I really cared about or that couldn't be replaced.

Now, I'm off to check Facebook and respond to random birthday wishes.

Flag Quilt - It's Finished!

2011-08-23T09:00:00.013-05:00

I've been working on my flag quilt for years (read about it here). I finally finished it last week! While my parents were here, we got a bar to hang it and got it hung up (with a little straightening help from hubby). Personally, I think it looks awesome! It's not perfect but I'm so happy to have it up. Not only does it look great but when I look at it I feel a huge amount of pride in knowing that I started and finished such a cool project.

I've got a ton of other projects waiting to be started and/or finished: stacking alphabet blocks for Bubba, place mats and runner, a quilt for the guest bed, another flag wall hanging...and that's just a few of the quilting projects I'm thinking of. As I've mentioned numerous times, I also want to get back to scrapbooking. I enjoy looking through the books I finished on my USAFA years, so I'd really like to do books for the rest of my time in the AF - as well as finish Bubba's baby book. I need a couple more hours in the day, the ability to sleep less without getting a headache, and/or a better schedule for my day...or all of the above!

Nook

2011-08-22T09:55:00.003-05:00

My parents came for a visit this weekend. My dad was part of a motorcycle trip for Victory Motorcycles and Wounded Warriors and came into town Wednesday afternoon. It's always great to see them and see how much they love Bubba...

Since my birthday is coming up they gave me my present a few days early. I got a Nook! We've been debating which to buy: a regular Nook, the new color Nook, or the Kindle. As much fun as the color Nook might have been with Bubba - I'm kind of glad the decision is out of my hands. Now I have an eReader and can read where ever I want. It's awesome. They also got all kinds of extras including a cover - it's pink which is nice change from always buying black and/or blue stuff.

I already had a ton of books on my Nook account from the iPhone app (which was another reason we were leaning towards the Nook). They are all classics I got for free during a Barnes & Noble promotion last year. Every week you could get up to 10 free classics - I got all of them! Looking forward to reading some new (for me) classics such as "The Time Machine" and "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" as well as rereading others.

What a great present! Thanks, Mom & Pappi! :)
_________

I'm trying something out with the links - I only did it with the first two (Victory and Wounded Warriors). Let me know if they open in a new window for you. Thanks!

The Farm

2011-08-15T14:45:00.000-05:00

We spent the weekend at "The Farm" with my husband's brother and his family. The Farm is an estate owned by my sister-in-law's family. It's been in the family for generations. This was our second time to visit. We had a blast. It was great to see family and for Bubba to meet his Aunt and cousins and see some cows and horses. We also got to swim in the pool both days which the whole family loves to do. The only part that really sucked is that the three hour car ride took us almost six - typical sucky I-95 traffic. The pool more than made up for it in my opinion.

While we were there we talked a lot about family histories. My sister-in-law had all kinds of stories about her family. In fact, she said one side of her family has a family tree painted on the wall of a nearby golf course clubhouse (the house used to belong to family) and it goes way back. There is also a painting of one of her ancestors in the Pentagon. Pretty cool to know stories about different people in your lineage.

I've been working on my family tree on Ancestry.com for a few years. I'm not getting too far since no one knows (or is telling) very much about certain parts of my family. In fact, past my grandparents, I'm not sure of anything. Kind of stinks.

My husband asked a good question on the way home yesterday - what makes some families keep track of relatives, stories, family ties, etc. and not others? I think part of it has to do with the ancestors themselves. It seems as if family was really important to my sister-in-law's relatives so they kept track of things like lineage and made sure to tell family stories to the next generation so they could be remembered and passed down.

I remember my grandmother telling me stories when I was young about the family but I can't get her to write them down. Since it was 25 years ago or more, I don't really remember them. And to be honest I listened to them as bedtime stories, not as stories I might want to remember. I was young, what did I know?

I've given both of my parents and my living grandmother "My Life" type books that ask questions or have room for family stories - I did this years ago and none of them have done anything with them. Of course, other than periodic journal writing, I haven't kept very good track of my own life story. Guess I should probably start if I want to be able to remember enough to tell Bubba stories...

Contentment

2011-08-12T11:53:00.004-05:00

The word "content" has been cropping up around me lately.

I've been reading "Reshaping It All" by Candace Cameron Bure (more on that later) and she talks about being content quite a bit. Last night I spent some time cleaning out my inbox. In an e-mail from 2008 (!) there it was again. It was a prayer, supposedly by Saint Teresa, saying among other things to "trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be... be content knowing you are a child of God."

I'm getting the idea that maybe I should be thinking more about being content now instead of trying to fix/change things so that I can be content later. Makes sense. You always hear people say if you can't be happy with what you've got what makes you think you'll be happier with something else and bloom where you're planted and other things like that. It all boils down to being content, doesn't it?

So what exactly does it mean?

One of the many online dictionaries defines it as being "mentally or emotionally satisfied with things the way they are; assenting to or willing to accept circumstances; peace of mind.

Does being content mean that you should accept the status quo or that don't want to improve or change things? I don't think so. I think it means to be OK with how things are right now even as you seek change - whether through learning, training, moving, changing jobs, etc. That you don't sit around and complain about how bad things are or how you wish things were different but that you make the best of it and move on.

I've thought quite a bit in the last year or so about doing my own Happiness Project but haven't done much with it other than read the book and many others, highlight important passages, and essentially just think about it. Maybe a good way to start would be to practice contentment. Be content with where and how I am now. That doesn't mean I won't continue to work on improving myself and my surroundings...just that those improvements won't be so much a measure of who I am or my present state of happiness. Whether I take a step forward or two steps back, I can be content where I am so that it doesn't seem a failure to not be going further or faster.

That all sounds good, right. So, just need to figure out how to get that contentment (along with the self-control and willpower I discussed yesterday). Sometimes it really does seem as if Egypt would be easier, but that's not where I want to be now or in the future...

Self-Discipline

2011-08-11T19:35:00.001-05:00

Is self-discipline something you can learn?

I used to think I had self-discipline but now I realize I probably never really had any. Back when I was in Junior Miss and I messed up the talent portion and apologized in front of the audience and on live TV - it was because of a lack of self-discipline that kept me from being as well-prepared as I should have been. When I went to basic training and couldn't keep up on the runs - it was because I lacked the self-discipline while in high school to prep enough for the rigors of BCT. When I start and fail diet after diet it's because I lack the self-discipline to follow any plan for more than a week or two (days in some cases).

People used to say I had dedication and perseverance because I never gave up on my dream of attending USAFA. What happened to all that? Where did it go? I fell as if I've lost what little I had and now can't find it...

I've read in several places that people say willpower is like any other muscle in that it has to be used &/or exercised or it will be lost. It seems to me as if that can/should apply to self-discipline as well. Looking at definitions of both they seem pretty darn similar:
Self-discipline: training and control of oneself and one's conduct, usually for personal improvement
Willpower: the ability to control oneself and determine one's actions, the strength of will to carry out one's decisions, wishes or plans

So, really it seems as if you either have it or you don't. If you don't, you can train yourself to have it. Kind of like kicking any habit - you do it one breath, one decision, one minute at a time until those minutes become days and the days become weeks...? It just seems a bit daunting when you feel as if you're starting with nothing to try and get willpower and/or self-discipline.

Bubba is already 18 months old and repeating almost everything we say and mimicking everything we do. I don't want him learning bad habits from me - whether it be words that I say, the way I react to things, or dealing with food/weight issues. I feel as if I need to get myself under control before I can be a good example for him...not an easy task but I think it is definitely a worthy one.

So, there you have it - one of my many secrets...admitting it to myself and now to you will hopefully help me get started. One breath, one decision, one minute at a time.

Life List

2011-08-09T09:15:00.009-05:00

It seems as if in the last few years everyone has written a bucket list. I like the term "life list" better. It's stuff that someone wants to accomplish during their lifetime - not just stuff to do before you die. I guess it's really the same thing but maybe a more optimistic way of looking at it.

I wrote out a life list years ago - I remember waiting for a Boston Pops concert to start and just started scribbling stuff I wanted to do on a piece of scrap paper from my purse. I kept that list for a really long time. I'm pretty sure I actually still have it somewhere. As my husband would attest, I keep all kinds of odds and ends thinking I might use/need them someday.

I'm pretty sure most of the things on my current life list were on that first one. Since I wrote that list almost 20 years ago, it would be neat to see how many things I've accomplished in those two decades and how many things are still undone.

So here's my current life list (not in any particular order):

Be the best mother I can be Be the best wife I can be
Learn how to improve my blog Write at least four blog posts a week Write something every day Do the Happiness Project challenge Learn some constellations Stop wasting time/procrastinate less Grow my own veggies Grow an herb garden Set up weekly menu plan with healthy food Take voice lessons Read the entire Bible Become a yogi Quilt more Go to church regularly

Make scrapbooks for time in AF     Scrapbook Bubba's life annually

Learn how to play poker     Learn how to do my makeup (right colors, application, etc.)     Be less judgemental

Start a children's lit book club     Exercise at least 3x/week     Lose weight     Run 5k without walking     Try Pilates     Complete the Body for Life challenge     Take flying lesson     Ride in a Stearman/biplane  
Fly a glider again     Learn how to kayak     Learn how to sail     Learn how to rock climb (indoors first)Learn how to snorkel (and then maybe scuba diving)     Visit each state     See northern lights     Paint/draw regularly     Visit Scotland     Visit Russia     Visit Albania again     Visit Africa (go on a Safari/see elephants) Visit Portofino and Rome (Italy)

Visit Croatian coast/beaches     See more of Germany     See more of England     Visit Ireland again     Visit Norway     Visit Australia and New Zealand      Visit Vietnam     Walk on Great Wall of China     See pyramids in Egypt     Participate in National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo)

Mental Snapshots

2011-08-08T10:37:00.004-05:00

Recently, a name from my past cropped up in a conversation. She was a friend of mine while I was at the Academy and for a few years after. Then something happened, I still don't know/remember what it was, and she stopped talking to me. We got back in touch through e-mail a year or so ago but then she deployed to Afghanistan and I never heard from her again. I'm not sure if she's still there or back home or what...I feel as if I can't really go looking for her again because she seems to have made her choice pretty clear.

Anyway, thinking of her made me think of the four or five rolls of film she offered to get developed for me (she had a place to do it real cheap and then she could get doubles made for both of us to have prints) that I never got back. I know what's on at least one of those rolls - pictures from the day of and week leading up to the USAFA class of 1994 graduation. Since I started out with that class, and their graduation day was the day I re-entered USAFA, there are a lot of pictures on the roll of people/events I cared about. So instead of having lots of pictures to record the year I spent in Colorado Springs, I have about five. I've asked this friend in the past if she ever found the pictures and that I would like to see them. She always said she didn't know where they were since she's moved so much. At least I have the mental snapshots...

I have a horrible memory. That's why I like taking pictures and now scrapbooking. It helps me to remember people and events. Yet there are times where for one reason or another I don't have pictures to help me remember. For example: it's been almost 15 years since my USAFA graduation and I've never even seen, let alone gotten my hands on, the video my father took...On several deployments while in the AF, I didn't want to look like a geek (or too girly) by taking pictures, so I didn't pull the camera out...on a trip to Poland, I dropped and broke my camera - I didn't get a new one for most of my assignment in Germany...most recently, while at the beach with my husband and Bubba - I wanted a picture of our three footprints side by side in the sand but had forgotten my camera up at the house...

Despite my bad memory, I've got some mental snapshots from these time periods and these events. I cherish those mental images even more than the pictures I can put my hands on. Mostly because those few images are all I have from those moments. Do I wish I had something more concrete? Yeah. But since I don't, I'll treasure what I can remember. I just wish my mental snapshots weren't so few and far between...

Free Books Rock

2011-08-05T14:00:00.005-05:00

What a fun, fabulous Friday! I opened the front door and there upon the stoop was a box with my name on it. I love getting mail. Getting packages is even better.

A while ago I got a tweet from Military OneSource (@Military1Source) saying they are ending their free paperback and audio books program. In the past there was a 10-book limit per year but now they're trying to get rid of everything so there's no limit. They have a lot of titles to choose from. I got 11 paperbacks and 3 audio books. Now I just have to figure out where these books will fit into my "To Read" pile. The audio books will be good to listen to while I'm walking.

The first book I cracked open was "Incredible Edible Science." It retails (on Amazon) for $21. It's full of all kinds of experiments and activities for kids (though I think adults would enjoy them as well). There are activities in six categories: observing (further broken down into sight, smell, taste, touch and sound), classifying, communicating, measuring, inferring and predicting. It seems to be geared more towards a group of kids/classroom instead of just one child but everything can be adapted for one.

The audio books are really cool too. They come with everything you need - a strap to carry it, earphones, and a note to pass it on to another military family when done.

I'm not sure why they're suspending their library program but I'm happy I was able to take advantage of what they had to offer. I am looking forward to reading the books I got (and/or using them as reference materials as needed) and listening to my audio books. I will definitely pass them on when I've finished...

As of today, they are still filling orders. So, if you qualify (Active Duty, Reserves, National Guard, or family members) go over and see if they have any titles you might like...Happy reading!

Children's Shows

2011-08-04T07:45:00.004-05:00

One of my pet peeves (even before I had Bubba around) is people letting their kids watch TV/movies that are not really age appropriate. I realize every kid is different and every parent is different but it seems as if the only way to know if something is appropriate for your child is to watch it for yourself first. I know these days, if you want your child to see something in the movie theater, watching it yourself first can get kind of expensive. However, it would seem as if the extra money spent by the parent seeing the film first is a small price to pay when you consider the possible nightmares for a small child who sees something they shouldn't. I know for me, once I see something I can't get the picture/scene out of my mind - even years after the fact.

For example, when I went to see Disney's "The Lion King" (way back when) there were quite a few kids including some very young ones in the audience. At one point there is a lot of fire and hyenas are attacking a lion. It's quite a scary scene. Needless to say, there was a lot of crying going on in the theater. How many of those kids had dreams about fire or scary hyenas after seeing that? And if the parent hasn't seen the movie before they can't very well prepare their kid for certain scenes or even know when to cover their eyes/ears. Don't get me wrong, I love "The Lion King." I'm just not sure it's right for very young kids.

I was really surprised when I read that Angelina Jolie took all six of her kids to see the last Harry Potter movie. The oldest is nine years old and the two youngest are only three years old. Harry Potter is rated PG-13 for "intense action violence and frightening images." I can only imagine what kids that young might think of some of the images they saw on the screen. It seems to me as if they wouldn't even know what to make of those images and thus might be even more confused, uncertain, and/or scared. That doesn't even take into account the partial nudity and/or other age inappropriate scenes/themes.

We've tried to limit TV for Bubba. Just within the last month or so have we let him start watching the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (one or two episodes a day max). Recently we watched an episode ("Donald and the Beanstalk") that really surprised me. The episode starts with Donald telling Mickey he "accidentally" traded his Boo-Boo chicken to the giant for magic beans "that don't do anything." First, I'm not sure how you accidentally trade something - especially your friend/pet. Second, whatever happened to "buyer beware"? Anyway, at one point Donald throws the beans and they grow into giant beanstalks. At which point, doesn't that mean Donald has used the beans? It's not as if he can give the beans back since they don't exist anymore - he has used them up.

So, Mickey and the friends decide to help Donald steal Boo-Boo chicken back. They go up to the giant's house and take the chicken. To top it off they then trick the giant so they can get away from him with "his" chicken. What is that teaching kids? If Mickey thinks it's OK to steal, why not them? The show could have taken the opportunity to teach young kids some kind of mediation-type thing or how about just being honest and telling the giant that Donald regretted trading the chicken and would like him back? There were many ways to resolve the issue without teaching kids it's OK to steal something if/when you want it back.

I won't even get started on the problems I see with both Minnie and Daisy flirting and batting their eyelashes when they want something. It's a kid's show! Any question why little girls are growing up way too fast!?

What do you think? Do/did you let your kids watch TV/movies even if you hadn't seen them before? How old were they before you stopped monitoring what they watched? (and yes, I realize I probably need to loosen up...I've been told that before...many, many times.)

PW's Perfect Iced Coffee

2011-08-03T10:13:00.004-05:00

The other day I tweeted about Pioneer Woman's "perfect iced coffee" and how much I wanted to try making it. Yesterday, I finally did it.

I went out shopping with Bubba before reading time yesterday to buy a big glass container to use for soaking the coffee grounds. I spent about $18 on what seemed to me a pretty big bowl. Pioneer Woman must have containers the size of Oklahoma to fit a whole pound of coffee grounds and two gallons of water. My "huge" bowl only fit a quarter of her recipe. I can't even imagine how big her pots are or where she keeps them. Oh wait, maybe she keeps them in "the lodge." How awesome would it be to live in a place like that? I can't even imagine it and yet it's their "guest house"!!

Anyway, so I made the iced coffee concentrate yesterday. Pretty easy considering you just pour cold water over coffee grounds and let them sit. We had to go buy some cheese cloth and then try to figure out what to do with it. I meant to take some pictures but it got messy and I already felt bad needing my husband's help to finish my "project" after he'd been at work all day. Pioneer Woman has awesome pictures on her site - see link above.

Last night as we were cleaning up the coffee ground mess, we were talking about how good the iced coffee will taste. When my husband came up to bed he mentioned how the whole fridge already smelled like coffee. Good thing he really likes coffee...and since it was my idea/project I can't really say anything. He got up a little early to have time for a cup of coffee before getting on the bus/metro and texted me that it was really good. So, of course I had to try some too. While Bubba was eating his yogurt I mixed my ice, coffee concentrate, skim milk (sad, I know) and sweetened condensed milk (hooray!). It was awesome! As I added the milk I noticed how pretty it looked and thought about taking a picture. Then I decided to stir it and drink it before Bubba needed my help. Luckily, I had more than one glass and got a picture of the second one (or was it the third!?). Holy cow was it totally worth the mess of last night.

I don't think I'll be able to have it around all the time. I like my coffee sweet which is why I stopped drinking Starbucks...too many empty calories and fat. However, having some of this every once in a while would be heaven - and so much cheaper than Starbucks too! If you like coffee, I hope you take the time to look at Pioneer Woman's post showing the recipe and try it sometime - you'll be happy you did.

Libraries

2011-08-02T09:16:00.006-05:00

This weekend we went to the library on post. They have a children's reading hour during the week that I want to try out but I wanted to do some reconnaissance first. As my husband, a former AWACS pilot, always says, "Time spent in recce is time well spent."

As soon as I walked in, I felt like I was both home and in a new magical place. It reminded me of how much I used to love going to the library. When I was little my mom would take us to the library and we were allowed to pick out any three books we wanted. I loved that time spent in the library. I loved the smell of it, the cool and the quiet, the vastness and the rows and rows of books. The library was always the same, yet at the same time there was always something new and different to be found. I realized it has been way too long since I've been in a library. How come we allow ourselves to get so far away from things we love..?

We have been reading to Bubba since he was born (I actually read out loud to him while I was pregnant). He loves being read to and looking at books. I hope that by taking him to reading time every week we can build on that love and give him some good memories too. I know he's a little young (18 months!) to remember things right now but maybe something like the library will stick with him, even if just in the back of his mind. Like it did with me.

Update: we went to reading time and I think Bubba really enjoyed it. He sat nicely on his little alphabet square, listened to the stories (loved the one with the ball), sang and clapped along with the "Babies on the Bus" book and colored a picture after story time was over. It was fun to watch him watching the other kids. We're definitely going back.

Quark

2011-08-01T09:10:00.000-05:00

When I did Immersion Language training in Germany (many moons ago) I learned to love quark. The family I lived with used it for everything - main dishes, desserts, snacks, etc. It was awesome!

My husband has had to live with me extolling the virtues of quark for years as well as listening to me gripe about why you can't find quark here in the US. After all, quark is a dairy product (kind of a mix of sour cream and cottage cheese without the curds). American cows are no different then German cows, right? It's the same milk which can be used to create the same kinds of products - so why not quark? (That line of thought also happens to lead to all kinds of other questions - why does Kellogg's make different cereals for the European market that one can't find in the US, why does Coke taste different in Europe than in the US, etc.). Quark is actually pretty healthy - it's very low sodium. For example the carton of quark in my fridge says it has 70 mg of sodium (3%) compared to 380 mg (16%) in the low-fat cottage cheese. So if it's relatively easy to make and good for you, why don't American dairy producers make it?

The other day, while shopping in the commissary, I saw cartons of quark! Not just quark but low-fat quark too. I obviously had to buy some. Not just to have it again and to introduce my husband to the wonders of quark but to let the commissary know (through my purchase) that people appreciate having the opportunity to buy it. All day I was excited to get home and try it.

Imagine my disappointment when the berry quark dessert I made was horrible. Despite honey, vanilla and sugar mixed into it, it was bitter. Un-edible bitter. Or as my husband so gently put it, "this stuff burns." What went wrong? Did I not let it sit in the sugar long enough or too long? Was it bad quark? Is my memory of it completely wrong? Aargh...I was so looking forward to it - not just for eating it again but as a way to bring mack some of my good memories of living in Germany. Of course I still have those memories, I had just been hoping to share them with my husband through this one food.

I still have about half of the carton of quark left. I've not completely given up. I just need to find the right recipe...

Nostalgia

2011-07-30T10:00:00.000-05:00

Recently, I got a tweet from Pioneer Woman about a website that "sucked her in." When I went to check it out, I could instantly see what she meant.

The "Dear Photograph" site seems to be pretty new and what an awesome idea. It has people taking an old printed photograph and then snapping a picture while holding that photograph in the same place it was originally taken. Pretty cool to read the comments people include with their pictures.

Part of why I think I'm intrigued by this site is that I can't imagine living in the same place long enough to be able to take the picture of the past in the present. I have tons and tons of pictures but I'm no longer anywhere near where they were originally taken. Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to have grown up in one spot...to have friends who have known you since you were little...to remember when the giant oak was a newly planted seedling...It must be nice to have roots.

Then I think of how lucky I am to have lived so many different places. To have met so many people and encountered different things that I never would have had I stayed in one spot. I am not the same person I would be if I had never moved - and since I like the person I am (for the most part) I'm glad I've had those opportunities to live in different places and to visit even more.

Maybe someday I will retrace my steps and be able to take some pictures of the past in the present. In the meantime, I'll just have to be nostalgic looking at someone else's pictures and reading their thoughts...Not a bad way to pass some time.

Stir Crazy

2011-07-29T10:04:00.000-05:00

Is it possible to go stir crazy when you have a ton of stuff to do?

We still have boxes in various places and piles of stuff we took out of boxes but have no place for. Yet all I can think of are the projects I want to be working on. Finishing my flag quilt, making pillow cases for Bubba's new kid-size pillow, working on the scrapbooks for my time in the AF, writing in my book journal, actually reading a book...the list is long. What I should be doing is finish getting moved in. Put things away, unpack the last boxes, and take stuff to Goodwill if we don't want and/or don't have room for it.

I feel as if I haven't had any "me" time in forever. Which is crazy since every day Bubba is at school is potential "me" time...it just doesn't feel like it when I'm doing stuff that has to get done instead of stuff I want to get done. I guess the sooner I get the "have-to's" done the sooner I can get to the "want-to's"...

PCS #8?

2011-07-27T12:00:00.002-05:00

I think we can finally arrived call this Permanent Change of Station (PCS) a success.

We actually left Illinois about 6 weeks ago and got our stuff delivered shortly after that but then we had the week at the beach, five days with the grandparents, and lots of boxes to unpack....Everyone thinks that since this was our 8th move that it should go smoothly and be easy as pie. However, it was our first move with a baby and we moved back into our townhouse which is quite a bit smaller than the house we rented (and no craft room!). It wasn't the worst move but wasn't the best either. Though come to think of it, who ever really has a good move?

Luckily, my husband didn't have to start work until this past Monday so we were a bit spoiled having him around so much. You'd think we would have gotten everything done around the house but we spent a lot of time just hanging out.

We also found a day care that seems to be pretty good. Bubba is going for about 6 hours, three days a week. If only he would stop crying when I drop him off then maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty. It makes me feel like a bad and/or selfish mom. After all, part of why he's going is to give me time to get my own stuff done (and give me some time to myself). Granted, the bigger part of why he's going is to be around other kids and have some time away from me so he realizes the world doesn't revolve around just the two of us...but I still feel guilty. Like if I were a better mom then I could expand his horizons while at the same time keeping him home with me. Not sure how I'd do that but then I guess that's why we're sending him to day care...

I'm hoping now that work and day care have started I can get into my own routine. I just need to figure out what that's gonna be...there's so much I want to do - finish my scrapbooks, write (on the blog, maybe a book, etc.), quilt, start working out, decide if I want to do volunteer stuff (how much and where, too) and maybe get involved with the officer's spouse club here, etc. So much to do, so little time...

Quilting Projects

2011-05-31T14:00:00.002-05:00

As mentioned in a previous post, I have been working on finishing up some quilting projects before our move. One of them, the Quilted Flag Wall-hanging, I have been working on since I was at Ramstein in 2003!

I was hoping to have it done before we moved but it's got one

more step - hand-sewing the binding and hanging sleeve down. Maybe I'll get it done while I'm at the beach when there will be other people around to watch the Little Guy...

The other one is the quilt for my best friend. Again, I've been working on it for quite a while...never again will I tell someone I'm making a quilt for them. It creates too much pressure. I'd rather just let them be surprised if/when I get it done and it's ready for gifting...

For the blue quilt I tried some new things...instead of "stitch in the ditch" I drew lines (which you can still see in the picture) and sewed an "X" in each square. Then, I really went out of my comfort zone by "meandering" in the large outer border. In the picture you can see the "Xs" on the front and the meandering on the back. I used white thread for the meandering so you actually can't see it on the front - that was in case I messed up (which of course I did, but only in a few places.) Overall, I think it turned out well - especially for my first effort. I still need to attach the binding and then sew it down. Not sure if I will get either done before the move but I'd like to at least get the binding sewn on. Maybe I'll even finish it before her next birthday in July...that'd be great!

Memorial Day

2011-05-30T21:00:00.004-05:00

One of the things I love about Memorial Day and other "patriotic" holidays is putting out our little flags. This year the Little Guy got to help!

For the past several days I have been reading different articles, posts and tweets concerning Memorial Day. On top of that there were of course all the usual ads for "Memorial Day Sales." On Sunday, at a barbecue with some friends we talked a bit about the difference between Memorial Day, Veteran's Day and Armed Forces Day. As you may know, Armed Forces Day (21 May 11) is a day to honor those who serve in our Armed Forces; Veteran's Day (11 Nov) is a day to remember those who have served in our Armed Forces; and Memorial Day (last Monday in May) is a day to honor those who have given the ultimate sacrifice while serving in our Armed Forces.

One article said what I've been thinking about this Memorial Day, but did it in a much better way...Mr. Horton states that on Memorial Day "many incorrectly thank Vets or active duty folks for their service. While appreciated, it's misdirected. That's what Veteran's Day is for. Instead, they should take some time and remember the spirit of the country and the dedication of those men and women who chose to pick up arms. They never came home to be thanked, and only their memory remains."

I found the article through a Veterans Affairs tweet:

Veterans Affairs (@DeptVetAffairs)
5/30/11 7:23 PM
MT @USArmy: "When #MemorialDay Bleeds Across The Calendar." Read a @DeptVetAffairs blog from a #OIF #Vet: http://go.usa.gov/Dg6 #Military

Duct Tape, Quilting and Oprah

2011-05-27T12:20:00.002-05:00

I've been working on a quilt for my best friend for a couple years now. One of my friends has been helping me to finish that and a couple other quilting projects before we move. So, needless to say, I'm in a bit of a time crunch.

The couple quilts I've done before I've used blue painter's tape to tape it to the floor in order to do the basting (pinning the layers together before quilting). In this case, I couldn't find the painter's tape and the duct tape happened to be handy. I had already used duct tape once before on a smaller project and it worked fine...besides when something needs sticking, use duct tape, right?

Unfortunately, I didn't take into account that I was using a much lighter batting and had used much larger pieces of duct tape. Holy Cow was the duct tape a mistake. As my friend pointed out, it's true there are many uses for duct tape - in the garage...

I'm hoping since the friend I am making the quilt for was also a maintenance office in the USAF, she will find it both funny and appropriate that I tried to make a quilt using duct tape.

On the deeper end, thinking about the duct tape and quilting made me think about the two different sides of me: the over-achieving, fast-track USAF maintenance officer and the stay-at-home mom quilting, crafting and baking cookies for the husband's office...using the duct tape just seemed to be an interesting combination of the two. The fact that it didn't quite work is something else to ponder...

I have always loved crafts but felt like it didn't really fit into my life while I was on Active Duty. Baking for the "office" would set me apart from the guys and not in a good way. So, I just didn't do any baking or crafting...essentially not at all until I got out of the AF.

Someone recently said on Oprah that she thought Oprah didn't like her...that Oprah only wanted the work - not her. That really resonated with me. I think that's how I've felt for my whole life - especially while in the AF. I felt as if I had to work harder and do better than everyone else - that my work had to be the best so that "they" would continue to want me. Every time I was recognized for my work, I felt as if it was just proof they only cared about the work...sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Some days (most days?), I still feel that way...that I need to prove myself worthy of being someone's friend or of being loved. But I'm getting better at doing things just because I want to and because I enjoy it...and like the duct tape and the quilt - some days it works and some days it doesn't...but it's not the end of the world and if it gets messed up or doesn't turn out quite right, it's usually good enough or can be fixed to be better.

Orange Food

2011-05-18T13:00:00.002-05:00

I really hate cooked orange food...the smell, the taste, the texture...they're all yucky!

However, last night at Smokey Bones, we had sweet potato fries and they were amazing! So good! I actually chose to eat them instead of the regular french fries. Those who know me, know that is a huge deal.

I just bought the cook book "Top Secret Restaurant Recipes 2" at Kohl's (for $5!)...I REALLY wish they had the recipe for the sweet potato fries...maybe I'll try to figure it out myself. It seemed as if they had a very light tempura coating and then sea salt...mmm, mmm, mmm.

If you have any ideas or have a great sweet potato fry recipe, let me know!

On a side note, still trying to figure out the "read more" thing...not sure why it shows up on every post even if there's nothing more to read...? Please bear with me.

Yard Sale

2011-05-17T13:00:00.004-05:00

When you see a sign promoting a yard sale, what do you think of? Finding a good deal? Just more junk getting spread around the world?

I enjoy going to yard sales and seeing what other people are getting rid of. Like most people, I enjoy getting a good bargain - I use coupons every chance I get, I sometimes buy on eBay instead of paying full price and I look through the "sale" rack at stores...so why not save some money buying someone else's stuff?

That's all well and good but I hate haggling. I hate the feeling that someone is trying to pull one over on me - you know, the feeling you get when you go to buy a car...or when you find out that someone else got a better deal on the same thing?

The reason I bring all this up is because we're moving again and have a lot of stuff we want to get rid of. Since it's not junk (at least not to me) I'd like to get rid of it smartly. Friends, eBay, Craig's List, Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc. Whatever way will be fast, convenient and not leave me feeling like I messed up.

The exact feeling I had yesterday when I got rid of some of our extra baby stuff. Now, I didn't want to get rid of any of the baby stuff because I'm not sure I'm done having children. So that was the first problem. I had already given some things (essentially new wipe warmer, breastfeeding supplies, tons of baby clothes, & an activity mat) to a "friend" from OSC who's having a baby boy in a couple months. She said she'd like to pay me, I said look at what she took home and give me what she thinks is reasonable. I don't feel bad at all that I haven't gotten a cent from her. Maybe I will, maybe I won't but for some reason it doesn't really bother me.

Yesterday, I talked to a neighbor (also from OSC and also due in a couple months) about whether or not she'd gotten the car seat and stroller from the first lady. Which then reminded me I had planned on asking if she could use some of the other stuff we were getting rid of. She came in to see what I had and said she'd like the swing, the sling, the mobile and a brand new-never even unpacked-crib set (quilt, sheet, and bumper). She said she had actually just gotten a swing at a yard sale this weekend (for $12) but it was pink and since mine was neutral it would be great (they don't know the sex of the baby). It was my fault things went downhill from there.

She asked me how much I wanted for it. I said whatever she felt was appropriate. I should have given her a price range I was willing to accept. It never occurred to me (especially after she said how much nicer and newer mine was than the one she got at the yard sale) that she would offer me $15 for the swing. I told her to talk with her husband and see if they really wanted all the stuff and then let me know. She took it over to show him and a while later gave me $25 for all of it! $25 for almost $300 worth of stuff!!! AAARGH.

I'm sure there was also a little of that bias where you feel something is worth more because you owned it or have feelings invested in it (can't remember what bias that is). However, if she's been looking at baby stuff at all, she had to know how much all of it was worth - especially when some of it was brand new! How could I have been an officer in the AF and be such a pushover!?

In the end, I used my husband as the excuse to get the swing back. After talking with him when he got home that the swing could hold up to 30 pounds (Bubba is only 22lbs) and that with the move we will need some way to corral him, he agreed that we should never have sold it. He was willing to go over with me and ask the neighbor that since I sold it without talking to him, could we please "buy" it back. So I turned over the $15 and we got the swing back. I feel a bit like a schmuck but I also feel better for having the swing back. The fact that she still got $150 worth of new stuff (that I only had to/agreed to part with since we're moving) for $10 kills me.

So, I think for the rest of the furniture and other stuff we're unloading, I'll do Goodwill or Salvation Army and take the tax credit instead of dealing with the upset stomach that bargaining leaves me with...I'll be happy when this move is over with. This will be my 8th move in 15 years and instead of getting easier it's getting more and more difficult...maybe because we're acquiring more and more stuff and the stuff we already had has become more and more tied to what, for me, makes a home.

Eventful Weekend

2011-05-02T10:10:00.003-05:00

First there was the royal wedding on Friday...full of excitement, pomp and history...

Then there was the mass at the Vatican to beatify Pope John Paul II...

Now, the news that Osama bin Laden has been killed by US forces...

I watched TV most of the morning on Friday, about 30 minutes of the beatification mass early Sunday morning, and then missed Obama's speech by about 15-20 minutes. I had gone to bed and then saw a tweet that he was going to give a rare Sunday night press conference. Since there has been so much in the news about his birth certificate (which I am sick of hearing about and question his timing for releasing information....), I decided to stay in bed and not get up to watch his announcement. I kind of wish I had - it's quite a historical moment. On the other hand, my husband had his PT test this morning so it's probably good that I let him sleep...I wonder if they will still air the originally scheduled interview with Obama on Oprah this afternoon - from what I have seen he's discussing - yup, you guessed it, his birth certificate...Based on articles on the web, I'm not the only one (or the first) to question what Oprah might do...

Regardless, it has definitely been an eventful and historical weekend....

Twitter Update

2011-04-30T09:00:00.003-05:00

I am loving my Twitter account...

I only check it once or twice a day (usually on my iPhone while Boy Wonder is sleeping) but I'm getting all kinds of information I wasn't getting before. Things such as recipes, daily quotes from various sources, news, job openings, media information, etc. I feel like an "insider" which is pretty cool. It was really cool while the wedding was going on yesterday - lots of moment by moment updates...

There are some "people" I'm following who tweet a little bit too much for my taste but overall I think I'm following a good variety of accounts which keeps me on my toes. At times it does seem as if I'm getting a little bit of information overload...I've had to e-mail myself numerous links so that I can go back and read the articles or go to the link on the big computer (instead of my iPhone). Right now I have at least 10-12 of those e-mails waiting until I have some time to really look at them.

Despite this information overload - I'm really enjoying "hearing" about different things and getting information in essentially "real" time...

What a fun invention...wonder what will come next?

Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T09:20:00.003-05:00

The crowds, the church, the uniform, the dress, the vows, the kiss, the second kiss...What a Day!

First off, I have an awesome husband! He knew how much I wanted to watch the royal wedding live, so he woke up at 0240 to make sure I was awake and downstairs to get set up for my TV watching.

A lot of people have said they don't understand what the big deal is with this wedding or why people would want to watch it. Personally, I have been looking forward to it since they released the date.

I remember watching Diana's wedding when I was 9 and thinking it was magical. That was the beginning of my interest in all things royal. I don't really remember ever wanting to be a princess or even playing princess, but I do remember being interested in everything about Diana. To this day, I'm always interested in seeing pictures or reading about Europe's royals. Luckily, my mother subscribes to Bunte magazine so I get lots of pictures and articles (and an excuse to practice my German).

I have been so excited - last night I could hardly get to sleep. This morning, I was so excited I didn't know what to do with myself. So I made English Breakfast tea and baked scones. They actually turned out pretty good. My husband took some to the office and reported back they are a hit!

I always thought scones were hard to make. Luckily I found a pretty easy recipe on Allrecipes.com which only took about 20 minutes (plus 16 minutes of baking). The only thing I might have changed would be to add more chocolate chips and cut them smaller.

The whole morning was amazing. It really was magical. It seems a little silly to call it magical or even to have such feelings for people I will never meet and will only see on TV or in pictures...However, I would not have missed it and am so glad I got up early to watch it live.

I loved Kate's dress. As soon as I saw it, I was reminded of Grace Kelly. What a beautiful dress - so perfectly regal, stylish and simply perfect. Her veil was so sheer - almost as if it was made of fairy fabric (or "delicate as spiderwebs" as my mother said). Her perfect posture only made her seem that much more regal - a true princess (or Duchess, as the case may be).

I also really liked her sister Pippa's dress. It would have been a beautiful wedding dress itself. As soon as I saw her I thought of how confident Kate must be to let her sister wear such an incredible dress. Most brides want to make sure they won't be upstaged by their Maid of Honor or Bridesmaids - Kate obviously has the confidence to let her sister shine and look beautiful. It helps that Kate herself was so radiant and gorgeous...

There were so many little moments that seemed to make the day so special. Prince William waiting to look at Kate and Prince Harry looking back and saying something to William; Prince William's face when he finally sees her; their intimate smiles at different times throughout the wedding; William and Kate leaving the church and riding in the open carriage; and finally, the kiss. Waiting for them to come out onto the balcony seemed to take forever. The second kiss was worth the wait - what a wonderful display of their love for each other. Wow.

I could keep going...I wish I had some kind of memento but I keep thinking of it being relegated to some drawer or box. I'm sure they will come out with some kind of special edition magazine or journal with stories and pictures of today. Maybe I'll get one for Mother's Day!?

CNAS Fellowship

2011-04-27T16:00:00.026-05:00

One of the Twitter accounts I follow is the Center for New American Security (CNAS). I follow them for a couple reasons, one of them being that CNAS is the organization that will be coordinating Michelle Obama's new Joining Forces initiative. The other day I saw a tweet that looked interesting "Want to work at CNASdc? We have a sweet new job opening." So, since we are moving back to DC this summer, I thought I'd take a look.

They are looking for a Fellow to focus on the Joining Forces initiative. Which, huh, I've just been reading and blogging about that...

Looking at the requirements, it seems to be a pretty good fit. The background qualifications they are looking for include: Service in the United States Armed Forces and/or experience within the military; College degree required (graduate study is preferred); Demonstrated experience and interest in specific national security and or veterans’ affairs topics; Broad understanding of programs and services for veterans and military families; Project management experience; demonstrated ability to develop and carry out a work plan; Personnel management experience; able to train, supervise, support and work well with others....Like I said, seems to be a pretty good fit since one could say (and I will) that I meet all of those requirements.

Since we are going to be in DC anyway, it seems as if it'd be a really interesting thing to do. It also seems as if its a tailor-made position for me. All the kinds of stuff I'm interested in...only problem would be work hours, my health and keeping family first.

So, we talked about it and decided it can't hurt to apply. If anything it will get my toes back in the water and see how things look/feel out there. If I make it to the interview phase I can address the work hours issue then. If by some chance I get selected, I can always say no if it doesn't seem to fit right after I learn more about it.

I'm excited just thinking about it. I guess if anything this has shown me I need to get a little more involved in stuff outside the home. I obviously am missing something. Whether it's being a part of something or feeling as if I'm making a difference in the world or something I haven't even realized yet...there's something I'm not currently doing if I'm excited (and nervous) just thinking about applying for a job.

Must find resume and get it updated....cross your fingers!
__________
*Update: Talked to someone over at CNAS this morning (29 Apr), the job is not a Fellowship as I understood it (one year) but is a permanent position. As we are only going to be in DC for one year (maybe more) I'm obviously not looking for a permanent position. Though considering part of the Joining Forces initiative is to support military spouses who change jobs due to military moves, wouldn't I be the perfect candidate to see if they are willing to practice what they preach? Hmm, guess I need to think about this a little more...

Joining Forces

2011-04-18T13:00:00.006-05:00

For a few years now I have been volunteering for the National Military Family Association. I don’t do a whole lot other than read stuff I would already read, do training webinars, attend meetings on base as a representative for the Association and once I visited an Operation Purple Camp and wrote a report about it. Despite my lack of participating to the degree I might wish to, I have enjoyed being “in the know” and feeling as if I was doing something positive for military families.

Recently, (12 Apr 11) the First Lady, Michelle Obama, and Dr. Jill Biden launched a new initiative to support military families on a larger, national, scale. So far, their “Joining Forces” initiative seems both comprehensive and ambitious.

The Joining Forces website states “Joining Forces is a national initiative that mobilizes all sectors of society to give our service members and their families the opportunities and support they have earned. The initiative recognizes that though only “1% of Americans may be fighting our wars, we need 100% of Americans to be supporting our troops and their families.” President Obama showed his support and the importance he places on this initiative when he stated (in prepared remarks) that “no American in uniform has ever served alone: ‘Behind every American in uniform stands a wife or husband; a mother, a father; a son or daughter; a sister or brother. These families — these remarkable families — are the force behind the force.’" As both a Veteran and a military spouse, it’s refreshing to see the Commander in Chief, and the highest echelons of our society, recognize that more needs to be done to show support for our troops and their families.

One good resource for people who want to know more about how to show that support is the National Military Family Association. The Association just released a “How To” guide for supporting military families called “Finding Common Ground: A Toolkit for Communities Supporting Military Families.” According to the Association website, “this toolkit suggests easily-achievable action items and useful resources to guide anyone who wants to support military families, but doesn’t know where to start.” The guide has links to different “communities” such as “Family, Friends, and Neighbors”; “Military Families”; “Community, Civic, and Religious Leaders”; and “State and Local Government Officials” to name a few. Each community link contains “ideas and resources that can start conversations and stimulate action.” I’m not sure if the Association came out with this guide as part of the Joining Forces initiative but either way, it seems as if they go together pretty well.

I’m excited to see what else comes out of this initiative and see if/how it helps the rest of the country to understand a little better what military families go through on a regular basis. For people who have never served and/or never known anyone who has served it’s nice that they now have a place to go to find more information or learn how they can show they care. I’m always surprised when I meet someone who has never had any affiliation with the military yet are supporting our troops and their families. It makes me appreciate what they do even more because they truly are doing it to show their support and not just because they or their family may benefit from their efforts. I hope this new initiative and the Association’s “tool kit” both help to strengthen support for our military families.

BRAT

2011-04-15T12:00:00.002-05:00

April is the Month of the Military Child...

I thought this “month of whatever” was something that had only been started in the last few years. Looking into it, this year is actually the 25th anniversary of the Month of the Military Child! Way back in 1986, then Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger designated April as the Month of the Military Child as a way to honor military children for their courage and sacrifices. According to Military.com more than 1.7 million children under the age of 18 have at least one parent serving in the armed forces. And it is estimated that more than 900,000 children have had one or both parents deployed multiple times.

The President of the Air Force Association, Mike Dunn, recently sent out an e-mail which included a story describing the origins of the term “Brat.” It’s funny how something starts out as an acronym and then becomes part of regular vocabulary. The e-mail is in it’s entirety below.

I also found a website from 2010 that has a lot of activities, scrapbook page designs, ideas for parents and teachers to help celebrate the Month of the Military Child. Not sure why they haven’t updated it, but most of the information still looks good. Finally, the National Military Family Association website has a link to send an eCard to show your support of military kids. I’m sure there are tons of other sites out there containing information and/or activities. I know most, if not all, military bases have many different functions planned for this month.

As the parent of a military child, it’s nice to know he will be recognized for the sacrifices he will make as he grows up. It won’t make up for leaving friends every couple of years and missing his dad while he’s gone, but at least it’s something.

____________

AFA members, as many of you know, this month is the month of the military child. AFA has recognized this with a press release you can find here: http://www.afa.org/media/press/AFA_Honors_Military_child.asp

But to honor the month, I want to tell you a story … one that very few people know.

When I was President of the National Defense University (NDU), I frequently bragged about the NDU library, calling it the "best library in the world." I had reason to … as, before I took over, it had won an award as the best library in government. One night, at a social event at my home, I asserted the above praise, and my dear wife responded: "If your library is so great, ask them to find the origin of the term 'Military Brat.' I think the term is an acronym."

[Many of you may know that the term Brat is a common reference to children of military members. It is a term of endearment – referring to a group who endure hardships, frequently move, change schools, leave behind friends, put up with frequent deployments, long absences of their parent(s), and (sometimes) inadequate government housing.]

Well – it turns out my wife was right … and the NDU library came through. A researcher there found a book written in 1921 which described the origins of the term. It came, like many of our military traditions, from the British Army. It seems that when a member of the British Army was assigned abroad and could take his family (mostly in India), the family went with the member in an Admin status entitled: BRAT status. It stands for: British Regiment Attached Traveler. Over the years, it was altered to refer only to the children of the military member (the wives of the British Army [who were all males] objected to the term referring to them). And the term not only stuck, but in many cases was adopted world-wide.

I can't emphasize too much the support role of families to our military. They move all over the world. Continuity of education, friendships … and even living conditions are often lacking. The success of the military is dependent upon the safety and support of their family members.

That is why one of the Chief of Staff of the Air Force's top five priorities is: Developing and Caring for Airmen and their families. Family members' motto is exactly the same as that of the Air Force Association: The Force behind the Force

Please share this note with as many others as you can.

Respectfully,

Mike   

Michael M. Dunn  

President/CEO  Air Force Association

Time Management

2011-04-14T10:00:00.002-05:00

I've been having a problem getting things done. I have more than enough time for the things I need to do and yet they don't get done...So I figured I need to start with deciding what is important to me and what I really want to get done.

Things I'd like to do on a daily basis:
Play/Be With Little Man
Spend Time with Hubby
Clean/straighten house (30-60 min/2x day?)
Blog/Journal/Write (1-3 hours)
Read/Notes (1-2 hours)
Exercise (30-60 minutes)
Cook Dinner

Things to do on Weekly basis:
3-5 Blog posts
3-5 walk/run/workouts
3 hours crafting (photos, scrap booking, quilting)
2-4 Family/Friend phone calls
Date night/afternoon
Plan Weekly Menu
- Grocery Shopping
- Prepare 2 meals for "later"
Vacuum, Laundry, Dust, Clean Baby Toys

So, with this initial list of things I'd like to get done on a daily/weekly basis I need to figure out a daily routine. I don't want to say schedule just because I don't like the word - it automatically makes me want to do the opposite...

I'm trying not to get too frustrated with myself about all this. And I know for a fact that my husband is an amazing man for not already getting frustrated with me. I just can't figure out why after 10 successful years as an officer in the USAF, I even have a problem trying to figure out how to make a schedule/routine so I can get stuff done around the house? Aaargh....

So, what now? How do I change a list of things I want to do into a realistic routine that will help me get things done? If only I had the time to read that time management book....

Audience of One

2011-04-12T12:00:00.000-05:00

I just found a new blog I think I might enjoy by Women Living Well.

The first post I read was an Easter recipe for Resurrection Rolls - each part of the recipe has some meaning regarding Easter. If you make it properly, the roll is EMPTY when you take it out of the oven. Very cool! I can't wait to try it.

The second post I read was about her first failure as a mother. Coincidentally (a God-incidence?), her failure was my own. As much as I wanted to breastfeed my son (for nutrition, bonding, weight loss, etc.) I was not able to do it well. The Little Man was always hungry and no matter what I tried (pumping, Lactation Counselors, etc.) I couldn't feed him what he needed. Over a year later, I still feel as if I somehow failed because I wasn't able to do what is supposed to be so "natural and easy." If I had done something different, would I have been able to provide for him? Who knows?

God Knows!

Courtney ended her post with a Bible verse: "Cast all your anxious thoughts on him because he cares for you." (I Peter 5:7)

What a great thought! God cares for me. He cares for me. No matter what else I allow myself to think or the doubts I have or the "what if's" I torture myself with...God cares for me. Awesome! Just what I needed to hear...

The final post I read was a list of 25 things about the author...it was the final one on the list that really hit my heart. In this post she again states "God cares for me" (which I guess I really needed to hear today) but she also says "there is an audience of One to please" which made me think of my Tier One post from yesterday. Rather than worrying/thinking about what friends and family may or may not think of me or how much they may or may not care about me - God cares for me! He is really the only One I should be trying to please on a daily basis...

Thank you Women Living Well for the wake up call.

Blame Game

2011-04-12T09:07:00.000-05:00

Yesterday our gas prices went from $3.69 to $4.09! Crazy!
So, just a quick question...
Why is it that everyone went through the roof back when President Bush was in office if the gas prices went up 5-10 cents, yet all of a sudden gas is well over $4.00 and it doesn't seem as if anyone has a problem with it...?
I don't get it. How can everything bad be one President's fault but for the next guy there's always someone else to blame?
Maybe I'm missing something - anyone able to help me out and/or explain this...?

Tier One

2011-04-11T12:00:00.002-05:00

Is it wrong to feel bad about constantly losing at "Words With Friends"? I guess it wasn't really that I was losing so much as my step-mother saying "good job" when I set her up for an 87 point word. Of course, I was trying to set myself up and took the chance she couldn't play there (wrong)...

I don't think it was even the game or that word so much as what she said and how it made me feel. Was she being insensitive or just not thinking? Or was I (am I?) taking it too personally? Would I have taken it so personally if there hadn't been some other things that recently happened...?

One of my favorite artists is Harry Connick Jr. A couple weeks ago, he performed in my hometown for a fundraiser at my church. My step-dad and step-mother turned it into a big family event. They never even mentioned it to me, even though I'm only 5-6 hours away and could have turned it into a trip home. Two weeks later my step-mother hosted her annual Salvation Army luncheon and again, invited all my sisters but never even mentioned it to me. Finally, a couple weeks ago we sent out 20 packages of pictures of our Little Man (including some not-to-cheap professional portraits) and some family pictures to family members. Only three people even acknowledged they received the package. What's that all about?

My husband says not to take it personally since it's probably not about me, it's just an example of "out of sight - out of mind." For the last year he has been trying to get me to think more about "Tier One" - myself, my husband and my son. That's who I should think about, make plans for and worry about - no one else.

I just can't figure out how to make myself not care. I'm not the best about keeping in touch - calling, writing, etc. but it still hurts when my family doesn't seem to care at all. So for now, I just try to repeat "Tier One, Tier One, Tier One"...and hope the hurt goes away...

Airman Appreciation

2011-04-08T14:00:00.001-05:00

I'm the Airman Appreciation Chair for the spouse's club on base. In the past they've done candy at Halloween (done), cookies at Christmas (done - what a huge to do that was) and candy at Easter.

This year, especially with Easter being so late, I decided to skip the candy at Easter and do something for Armed Forces Day (21 May) instead.

Operation Homefront in Missouri has generously offered to donate a box of Girl Scout cookies for each Airman in the dorms. They have also offered to donate a CD but I'm not sure if that will happen. The candy (usually 7-10 pieces per Airman) seems a bit silly to go along with a whole box of cookies but I'm not sure what else to do.

Instead of having schools do cards (I had schools decorate the bags for the cookies at Christmas which turned out pretty good) the spouse club stamping group has offered to hand make cards. I helped out for a few hours this morning and I think they're going to be great. Still a lot of work to do though, especially if we want to have them done in time for the meeting next week to get people to write something and/or sign them.

So, if you had a box of cookies and possibly a music CD, what else would you include? There are about 350 Airmen in the dorms but I have a good budget so I think I could do anything within reason (really limited only by time and size...). Any ideas?

Honoring the Fallen

2011-03-30T13:00:00.002-05:00

On last weekend's episode of Army Wives one of the characters died in combat in Afghanistan. It turned out to be a very emotional episode and included several different tributes to the fallen soldier - including a tribute from his platoon still in Afghanistan.

At the end of the episode the one thing I was surprised about is that they didn't use some events from real life in the episode. I'm specifically referring to a certain church from a certain state that feels called to protest at funerals of our service members. I am so very glad that the writers/producers of Army Wives decided not to give the church more legitimacy (if that's the right word) and/or publicity by featuring something similar in the show.

A few weeks ago, an Airman (A1C Zachary Cuddleback) from this area was shot outside the Frankfurt Airport in Germany. The certain church I mentioned decided they would come out to IL to protest at his funeral. Instead of them making the news and being in the forefront, hundreds of people from around the area lined the streets and blocked the protesters. The Wing Commander from Ramstein AB wrote an article about what he saw when he escorted A1C Cuddleback's body home for the funeral. Driving around town the next few days, one could still see several signs honoring A1C Cuddleback and his family. I wish we had heard about it beforehand, as I would have been honored to have participated.

My only question is, and I hate for it to sound like an unpatriotic criticism, was A1C Cuddleback the first person in 10 years of war to die from this are? If not, were the other people honored in the same way? I for one have not heard of anything like what was done for the Cuddleback family. I think it was amazing and beautiful that the community honored a fallen Airman in that fashion...I just hope we haven't gotten so immune to the war and its toll on our service members that others are allowed to just slip by unrecognized.

Do shows like Army Wives help us remember or do they add to the steady stream of reports and/or images that help to create "caring fatigue" bringing us to a point where we're just too tired to care anymore...?

Past vs Present

2011-03-28T14:00:00.001-05:00

A couple nights ago I had a dream...one part of it hit me so hard that it woke me up, and I haven't been able to forget about it since.

In the dream my mom was giving away a lot of my old childhood "stuff." I knew I didn't need any of it, but I also didn't want her to give it away - it was as if she was giving away my childhood and I would lose it forever. Of course the fact is that she actually did get rid of a lot of my stuff from childhood and I do miss/regret it sometimes - especially when I think of how Boy Wonder would have liked to play with it or have it (or more that I would have enjoyed seeing him playing with the same stuff I did). Anyway, in the dream my mother was beautiful, healthy and happy (she has to use a walker in real life...) which was wonderful and amazing. At one point while she was giving my stuff away and I was getting more and more upset, she turned to me and said "You spend so much time in the past that you're missing the present." Even just typing that line kind of makes my heart skip a beat...

I do spend a lot of time in the past. Sometimes it's "harmless" such as making scrapbooks or looking at old pictures and poems. Sometimes I think it's probably not a good thing, such as when I start thinking about "what ifs" and dissecting choices I've made and things I regret not doing.

What really hit me about my "mom's" statement is that for the last two weeks I had been working pretty much non-stop on a photo album of Boy Wonder's first year. When I started it I thought it was a great idea as it would be faster and more compact than doing a whole scrapbook...probably true but it still ended up monopolizing all my time for quite a while. And while I was working on the photo album (the past) I was missing out on time I could have been spending with my son (the present). Talk about a shot to the gut.

How does one stop spending so much time in the past and start truly living in the present? That's something I really need to work on. I think looking back is a good thing, remembering (and sometimes even honoring) the past is even necessary to knowing how to make the right choices in the future. It's finding the right balance that I need to work on.

Living fully in the present and not missing life's day to day occurrences - that's what I want for my future.

St. Patrick's Day Cupcakes

2011-03-18T14:00:00.000-05:00

This year, I wanted to do something special for St. Patrick's day but hadn't been able to think of what...as soon as I saw this recipe I knew I had to try it.

I've mentioned before how much I enjoy Roni's Weigh...well, she has another blog called Green Lite Bites where she posts healthy recipes. Between the two sites, I read about and got the recipe for Simple Green Cupcakes - perfect for St. Patrick's Day!

It's a very simple recipe:

1 cup applesauce

4 cups raw spinach ( I don't think I actually used that much, but I used a lot!)

1 Box store bought white cake mix

Sprinkles

Puree the spinach and applesauce to mush

Dump cake mix and puree into a large bowl and mix on medium for 2 minutes

Pour into cupcake liners (I ended up with about 18...)

Add sprinkles, if desired

Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees

They turned out really green and were delicious! I think this will become a new St. Patrick's Day tradition (and maybe other times throughout the year too...).

As Roni says, they aren't necessarily health food, but hey, if it's got spinach and applesauce in it - it's way up from what I normally eat!

ABCs of Me

2011-03-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

One of the blogs I follow (Roni's Weigh) did this and I thought it was kind of cool...taking a moment to think about my likes and dislikes...I wonder if I did this again 5 years from now how much would be different (besides my age)...Interesting to think about.

So, here goes...the ABCs of me...

Age: 38 (Wow! When did I get so old!?)
Bed size: Queen, for now, but I would love a king size bed if we ever stop moving...though if the Little Man would sleep in his own bed, a queen would probably go back to being OK....
Chore you hate: cleaning the house...I just have too much stuff (some say junk, I say stuff...)
Dogs: I love Dachshunds (long hair, not naked), Golden Retrievers and Labs...would love one some day but not sure how the cats would like it.
Essential start to your day: Waking up and seeing the Little Man's smiling face
Favorite color: Blue - almost every shade of it
Gold or silver: Silver. Used to be gold so I still have a lot of gold jewelry but I really like silver (or white gold...or platinum...)
Height: 5'5" give or take half an inch...though I think I'm starting to shrink
Instruments that you can play: None. I always wanted to but have never taken any lessons
Job title: Mom, Volunteer, Best Wife Ever? :)
Kids: 13 month old son
Live: Illinois - soon to be DC
Milk: Skim - whole milk makes me sick
Nicknames: Sam
Overnight hospital stays: Knee surgery x2 and childbirth
Pet peeve: there are so many...rudeness is the first one that comes to mind...
Quote from a movie: "Have fun storming the castle!" - Princess Bride
Righty or lefty: Righty.
Sibling: Three sisters and four brothers (including halves, steps and some that it takes too long to explain...)
Time you wake up: anytime between 0630 and 0900...keep thinking about getting on a schedule but love waking up with the Little Man too much...
Underwear: My favorites are the little boy shorts that have cartoon characters on them. Do they even make those anymore?
Vegetables you dislike: cooked orange stuff (carrots, yams, sweet potatoes, etc.) Like raw carrots - hate them cooked
What makes you run late: poor planing
X-rays: probably way too many...
Yummy food you make: snickerdoodle cake, biscuits and gravy, cheese slaw, etc...just need to work on making yummy healthy food
Zoo favorite animal: Elephants! and pandas...and lions...bears...penguins...pretty much all of them except I really love the elephants...

Sarah Palin's Alaska

2011-03-13T09:00:00.001-05:00

When you say the name Sarah Palin it seems as if you are just asking for some kind of debate. I first heard of Sarah Palin while reading an article about her in the February 2008 Vogue. I remember thinking how cool she sounded and that she seemed to be someone to look up to - someone that women could really look to and try to learn from.

Over three years later and I still feel the same way. She has made mistakes in the last few years but she still seems to be the same person underneath.

When I heard about her reality TV show "Sarah Palin's Alaska" I knew I wanted to see it. I haven't seen all the episodes yet but as expected, I've enjoyed it. Her life seems so different from anything I could even imagine. I think it's amazing and wonderful how different life is in Alaska.

Back in 1994, I spent three weeks at Eilson AFB in Alaska. I loved it and enjoyed pretty much every minute I spent there...looking back, I wish I had gotten out more and really explored the state (of course I say that about pretty much every place I have ever lived and/or visited). I remember driving somewhere and having to wait as a moose crossed the road. We were so impressed with the size and majesty of the animal and how close it was. I guess if we had grown up in Alaska we would have eyed it as a walking slab of steak or a stack of moose burgers...

From what I have seen and heard, not many people were impressed with the TLC show and some have even poked fun at Sarah Palin for becoming a "reality-Star." I'm glad she did the show - seeing Alaska through her eyes was really interesting and I enjoyed getting to know her better. I'm not sure she should ever lead our country but she is definitely an interesting person and worth listening to.

Twitter

2011-03-12T22:30:00.000-06:00

As if there isn't enough information bombarding me at every turn, I have joined Twitter. First day and I am already "following" 35 different people and/or organizations - everything from actress Dana Delany to the Economist to the Sartorialist to the USO.

My husband joined quite a while ago. (Actually, we first heard about the January shooting in Arizona at Rep. Gabrielle Gifford's "Congress on Your Corner" event through a Tweet.) I kept putting off joining because I couldn't imagine anyone I would want to follow. Who do I care enough about to want to hear their random minute by minute thoughts? First person I thought of was Samantha Brown from the Travel Channel. I think she's awesome and really does have the best job in the world. As the next couple weeks passed, I kept adding more and more people that I might be interested in. So I finally did it...

We'll see how it goes...

Book List

2011-01-16T08:30:00.002-06:00

One of the things I wanted to keep track of when I first started this blog was the books I read. For 2009, I had a list thing going on the side of the blog. In 2010, I didn't read books quite as much because I was always holding a baby. Once my husband got me the iPhone and I had the Kindle/Nook apps, I read a bit more. Unfortunately, I didn't really keep track.
Since it is now 2011, I figured it was time to update and keep track of my reading for this year. I didn't want to lose the 2009 list so I'm posting it here where I can reference it later if needed...
1. Wideacre
2. Agatha Raisin #1-17
3. Siddartha
4. A CT Yankee in King Arthur's Court
5. The Name of the Rose
6. Jane Eyre
7. Hamish Macbeth #1-22
8. Body of Lies
9. Women of Valor
10. Tales of Beedle the Bard
11. American Girls About Town (Anthology)
12. Alice (bio of Alice Roosevelt Longworth)
13. The Complete Sherlock Holmes Vol 1
14. The Secret Garden
15. Some Things That Stay - Sarah Willis
16. Over Here, Over There: Andrews Sisters & USO in WWII
17. Nice Girls Finish First - Alesia Holliday
18. World Without End - Ken Follett
19. Suite Francaise - Irene Nemirovsky

20. The Zoo Keeper's Wife - Diane Ackerman

21. The Rose Labyrinth - Titania Hardie

22. Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury

AF Marathon/10K

2011-01-15T09:00:00.000-06:00

Over three months ago I blogged (on my other blog) about my inability to "follow through" and how I wanted to change that by training for the 10K race of the 2011 AF Marathon. At the time I discussed how I have always wanted to run a 5K (I have walked several but never run one) but that I shouldn't limit myself to that and should try for the 10K instead. One of the motivating factors for trying for the 10K was that the 54-year-old wife of the CSAF did the 10K...if she can do it at her age, there is really nothing stopping me from doing it except for myself. At the time I wrote the first post, I had 358 days to train - now I have 245 days.

I also discussed why I wanted to do it - to prove to myself I can, to prove that I can set a goal and achieve it, to show myself that I am worthy, etc. I ended with a comment on how even as I was writing, I was already worried about not following through.

Here I am over three months later and I am no closer than I was back then. In fact I can count on one hand (maybe two) the number of times I have taken a walk or walked on the treadmill in the last three months. I don't even have the excuse of cold weather since we have a treadmill in the basement. I even had a reminder on my iPhone to let me know when sign-ups started for the race. I talked to my husband about it for a bit but then didn't do anything about it.

I think for me the problem with following through is that sometimes (often?) I procrastinate for so long that I essentially take action by not taking action. I subconsciously decide I can't do it or won't succeed so by not trying at all, I can fool myself into thinking I may have accomplished it but ran out of time, or didn't try hard enough or some other such excuse.

When will I figure out that it's better to have tried and failed than to be stuck wondering what may have been...? Who knows, if I gave myself half a chance, I might realize that I'm actually good at something I thought I would fail at...I'll never know unless I try...

So, on that note, I just registered for the AF 10K - that's at least one concrete step I can take towards my goal. We'll see how it goes from here...

Wake-up Call

2011-01-14T09:15:00.000-06:00

   For the last few days I have been tied to my bed. Not literally of course, but close enough. I somehow hurt my back Tuesday morning and it has been a slow road back.
   Anyone who knows me, knows I have had a life-long battle with my weight. I even have a second blog dedicated to that battle. I've tried pretty much every diet out there, some of them more than once. I know what I need to do (eat less, move more) but haven't found the right motivation (other than "be thin") to kick my butt in gear. I think maybe this past week has shown me what the future has in store if I don't make some serious changes - now.
   It has been miserable to lay in bed and watch my husband take care of everything (work, house, dinner, the baby, etc) and know that I was not only not contributing but was actually adding to the work load. For the first day or two I couldn't even pick the baby up and if he was in my arms it was excruciating if he wiggled at all. Ever hear of an 11-month old who doesn't wiggle? Me neither.
   That's not how I want my life to be. I want to be able to participate in family activities - fun, active activities. I want to watch my son grow up and to be a full participant in his growing up. I want to be able to go for a hike with my husband and not worry about whether or not I can make it to the top. I want to go for a bike ride and really enjoy it instead of always thinking about whether or not I have enough energy for the return trip. I want to be part of life not just watch it. Most of all, I want to use this body God has blessed me with for living life instead of abusing it and wishing things were different.
   Just the other day I was commenting on how I don't seem to have the "right" kind of motivation to lose weight and get healthy - now it seems I do. Living life is more than just being thin or fitting into a smaller size of clothing. It's about being an active participant. Whenever I'm about to make a bad choice or skip a walk, I need to remind myself how it felt not being able to pick up my son or to sit on the floor and play with him. If that's not a kick in the butt, I'm not sure what is...

Perception

2011-01-07T08:30:00.000-06:00

One of the first things I remember being told as a 2nd Lt was that "perception is reality." That one sentence became my reality.

Looking back, I think I was way too worried about how other people may have perceived anything I said or did. It's easy to look back and see how we may have done things different. What's not so easy is thinking about what we may have missed out on due to the decisions we made.

I realize now that most people probably didn't even pay attention to things I said or did. If they did, it surely wasn't with as much attention as I feared. People are usually pretty self-involved and don't pay attention to things other than themselves.

I was so worried that as a single, female, maintenance officer, I couldn't show any weakness. I had to work harder, longer, better than everyone else or they would pounce. Really, what would anyone have done if I had screwed up? Usually, you got yelled at a bit and then everyone moved on - provided you didn't screw up again. I didn't want people to see or think that I didn't belong or that I didn't know what I was doing. If they saw weakness then the perception was (so I thought) that I was in over my head. Or that where there is one weakness, there are more...all they had to do was keep looking and they would see the cracks behind the facade.

I guess I was pretty self-centered myself thinking that everyone was watching me or waiting for me to screw up. I didn't treat others like that (even if they had screwed up) so why did I think people would be expecting, even waiting, for me to screw up?

Probably in the end, it was because I myself had the perception that I didn't belong. That I was a fraud. That if anyone took the time to really look at me, they would see the cracks in the foundation and my world would crumble and everything I knew and had worked for would fall apart.

I guess thinking about perception as reality is good to a certain extent. It helps you to trust your gut if you perceive that something is off or not right in a situation or with a person. However, living your life thinking, wondering and worrying about what other people think about your reality is like forcing yourself to live half a life.

It's something that I can see now, and can only hope that the half-life I've lived is over and I can now life my full life.

Journal

2011-01-06T21:21:00.001-06:00

For Christmas, I received a Five-year journal. I love the idea of jotting down a few lines a day and having five years all in one spot.

I've kept a journal off and on for most of my life. Going through them though, I've noticed that I tend to talk about my feelings more than anything else and they were usually only sad or upset feelings. That, of course, is part of why I kept a journal. However, the older I get the more I realize how much I have forgotten and how I wish I had been a little more detailed concerning events in my life.

I don't remember details about trips I've taken, or people's names, or even some events. This is especially evident as I try to scrapbook. I have pictures that help me remember events but I can't remember who was with me or exactly when it occurred. Sometimes, I have only a couple pictures - and sometimes as I look back I realize I took only one or two pictures of really stupid stuff and not of anything that really mattered in the long run.

A lot of times I didn't take pictures because I didn't want to look silly or look like a "tourist." While I was deployed, I didn't take pictures of people or things around me - but I have a lot of pictures of the airplanes. Cool, but they don't really tell the story.

So between the lack of pictures and incomplete journaling, I feel as if I have gaps in my history.

Hopefully, the new journal will help me keep track of people and events a little better. By having limited space to write in, it seems less daunting - sometimes all that white space was overwhelming and kept me from writing anything at all. Now all I keep thinking is that even one line is better than nothing...

2011-01-05T15:14:00.001-06:00

A few days ago, I read a blog post (can't remember where) on what word you would choose if you had to describe the coming year in one word. One word immediately jumped into my head.

More.

That's my word for this year. When I stop to think about it, it seems wrong to have a word like "more" to describe what I want for this year, yet it's the only word that keeps popping up.

When I think of this year, I want to be more active; pay more attention to detail; do more; be more; write more; love more; forgive more; etc.

Lucky Me

2010-10-10T21:57:00.003-05:00

Earlier tonight I was reading some posts on the SpouseBuzz Blog and one of them really touched my heart. It had a link to a song video by Helene Cronin. The SpouseBuzz post originated with the Soldier's Angels blog.

The song is called "Lucky Me". The SpouseBuzz blog had some history: "The song is a true story based on Helene’s trip back from Nashville. Standing at the counter at the airport, she happened to strike up a conversation with the soldier standing near her. He mentioned he was headed back to Iraq and asked where she was going. “I'm going home,” she said. “Lucky you,” he replied."

I've listened to the song three or four times now and every time it hits my heart. As you know, I served in the Air Force for 10 years. During that time I deployed several times. I volunteered for every deployment I could. I loved being deployed; I loved feeling like I was finally doing what I signed up for. Every time an aircraft launched, I knew I had done my small part in making that operation a success and protecting the freedoms we enjoy as Americans. I know that sounds cheesy but that's what got me out of bed and kept me going.

I was assigned to Lajes Air Base in the Azores when 9/11 happened. I was doing turnover with my replacement at the time so there was quite a bit of overlap between the two of us as to who was helping to support our efforts when the aircraft began pouring through. There were a few times before I left that I felt left out of the "action." I was the one with the experience but the Director of Operations felt I should be concentrating on out processing. I understand what he was thinking but still wish he had let me make that decision. I moved on to Ramstein AB Germany where we were considered forward-deployed so we only supported the fight from there. After 22 months at Ramstein I went to the Pentagon for the AF Intern Program. Once again, I was not allowed to deploy. By 2005, I was at Andrews AFB, MD; again, assigned to a non-deployable unit.

I write out this history of assignments to show that I never participated in either IRAQI FREEDOM or ENDURING FREEDOM. And I really wanted to. All of the other deployments and operations I participated in were not so closely tied to really protecting what we, as the United States, stand for. I'm very proud of what I did and accomplished while in uniform but I wish I had been able to do more.

I realize I am very lucky that I never had to go to either Iraq or Afghanistan. Yet, when I listen to the song "Lucky Me", especially the words towards the end "Freedom comes at a heavy price; we don't all pay our equal share or know what it's like over there. Lucky us, the ones at home while others go to the battle zone; they are the brave, we are the free..."it makes me sad that I didn't pay anywhere close to my equal share and that I don't know what it's like "over there."

Back in 2003, I was at a course at the George Marshall Center. One night, we went to the symphony in Vienna. That same night, my brother was in Iraq with the 3rd Infantry Division. I remember the music made me so sad I started crying. All I could think of is that all I had ever wanted was to serve my country, yet I was having the time of my life and it was my little brother who was at war. I've never forgotten that.

I am lucky. I know that. And it would be very hard for me to deploy now with a husband and son. I am lucky there are still people out there willing to fight and die so that I can enjoy the freedom to sleep in my own bed in my own home with my husband next to me and son down the hall (and sometimes vice versa...). I am lucky I had the opportunity to serve my country at all and was happy to do it.

I just sometimes wish I could have done more...

Almost Two Months

2010-03-29T13:09:00.004-05:00

I'm sitting in my husband's favorite leather chair, which the cats have pretty much destroyed, with my nearly two month old son sleeping in a sling (not the same one that's been recalled) and I can't remember being happier...So, finally having my hands free for a while, I feel the need to write.

Having waited until I was toward the end of my 30s to have my first child, I spent a lot of my adulthood wondering why people with kids can't have a normal conversation. No matter what the topic, somehow the conversation always seemed to come around to their kids, their friends' kids, or something to do with the kids. I must admit, it was really annoying and I swore if/when I had kids, I wouldn't do the same thing.

Fast forward to now and I find myself doing that exact thing. Of course, part of the reason for that is because the only thing people want to ask or hear about is my son - how big is he now, how is he eating, is he sleeping through the night, etc. We had some friends over this weekend for my husband's 40th birthday and our son was the highlight. Everyone wanted to hold him...one person even volunteered to change the poopy diaper.

So, at least for today, I've decided to embrace it. I love my son. I love looking at him. I love listening to him breathe and I love talking about him. Of course, right when I embrace it and decide to write about him, he wakes up and I can't write anymore...maybe later, when he's sleeping in my arms again...

Catching Up

2009-10-28T12:04:00.008-05:00

I haven't posted anything in months. The non-blogging started out because I had a huge thing I wanted to share with the world, but really wasn't ready to share it...so instead I said nothing at all. Then I got all anti-computer for a while and am still kind of on that kick - mostly because my day seems to fly by unnoticed whenever I get on the computer.

Since I'm at home and procrastinating on doing Thank You Cards for my baby shower gifts, I figured now was as good a time as any to do a goal update and maybe start blogging again.

2009 Goal Check Up

1. Start/write a blog: I was doing this pretty well until around June. I have four draft posts from June that I never got around to finishing, and then I just stopped altogether. With a baby on the way, we'll see how the whole blogging thing goes in the future.

2. Sing! Join a choir: I joined the Scott OSC choir but then quit. While I enjoyed singing, I didn't like the way they ran the choir. Mostly it was accepting money from the people in the nursing homes (and checks made out the the choir "leader" instead of to the OSC) and the fact that despite being affiliated with the military we didn't sing a single patriotic number. When I asked why we didn't sing the National Anthem at base functions, I was told they couldn't agree on an arrangement so they decided not to do it at all. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

3. Do yoga regularly either at home or in a studio (at least 2x week): Probably only did this 5-6 times and that was back in January.

4. Try three new activities: Once I got pregnant, a lot of the "new" things I wanted to try got pushed to the background...So maybe I didn't try three new activities but I did do some "new" things...Does the Wii Fit count? I also went for a weekend trip to see friends at the spur of the moment; got pregnant; got in a bathing suit for the first time in years and went swimming (more like floating considering the big belly); went to the Grand Canyon...stuff like that.

5. Go on minimum of four “day trips” to see Midwest: I'm not sure we've done four, but we have gone into St Louis a few times and we went to St Charles. We're also going to Branson soon. I keep thinking I've forgotten one of the trips we took

6. Pamper myself regularly: I've gotten haircuts, manicures and pedicures but not regularly...I was completely pampered while we were in Sedona - a prenatal massage, a facial (which pretty much tore up my face, but felt great at the time) and probably the best pedicure ever.

7. Read minimum of 18 books: My goal was either way too low or I read way too much...or somewhere in between...I have read 6 classics (my goal was four): Siddartha, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Jane Eyre, Sherlock Holmes (Vol 1), The Secret Garden, and Fahrenheit 451. I also wanted to read two biographies, which I did - one on Alice Roosevelt Longworth and another on the Andrews Sisters.

8. Publish a Poem/Send poem(s) to be published: Nope...the more I read of my own stuff, the less I think it's good enough to be published. I still enjoy reading it myself, I just don't think anyone else would get it. Plus, I haven't written anything for years, so what's the point of trying to get something published if I don't write poems anymore?

9. Make health/exercise a priority: Healthy eating has become a priority for sure - I'm eating much more fruit and vegetables, but I could still be better. I still love potatoes (in almost any shape or form) and have a sweet tooth like crazy. I'm happy to say the only "real" and constant craving I have had is for MILK! Crazy, I know...

10. Get “professional” photos taken: Hmm, the closest I will get to this are the pictures my friend Theresa has taken the two times I've gotten to see her this year. I would bet we're going to get pictures taken of some sort when the baby gets here, but that will be in January so doesn't count for this year's goals...

So, bottom line is I have met a few of my goals but not all of them. Though without having had goals to start with, who knows what I would have done with my time...? I still have a couple months left in the year, we'll see what I do with them.

Unsung Heroes

2009-06-16T12:09:00.008-05:00

Right now, I'm watching C-SPAN and listening to Congressman Al Green (TX) comment on one of the "greatest stories never told..." He along with Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (FL) are speaking today to convince the other Congressional Representatives to pass the bill awarding the Congressional Gold Medal to the WASP.

It's amazing to me that despite having been promised military status and taking the military oath, not to mention 38 of them giving their lives for our country, the WASP did not receive veteran status or any recognition for their wartime service until over 30 years after the WASP were disbanded. Now, over 60 years after their service, they are finally seen as deserving of recognition. They did not volunteer to serve their country looking for recognition and praise - but they surely deserve it.

Hmm, looks like they passed the Bill - just like that. Congressman Green closed by asking for the support of the House "if a vote is called for." The Speaker then said "The question is, will the House suspend the rules and pass S614. All those in favor say Aye (several ayes in background) all those opposed say no (crickets chirping...). In the opinion of the chair, two thirds being in the affirmative, the rules are suspended, the Bill is passed and without objection the motion to reconsider is laid on the table."

I wish I could have been there to see it in person (maybe along with some American Politics professor to explain everything...). Though at times it is quite boring - as evidenced by the fact that the Representatives themselves don't show up...It can actually be very interesting to visit and watch what goes on in the House of Representatives in person. I was lucky enough to get to see it a couple times while I was an Intern at the Pentagon. I actually got to see the Senate vote on increasing funding for the war. It was kind of crazy how at one point the room was pretty empty and then, within the last ten minutes, it seemed people came out of the woodwork to vote. They had cards they put into slots at their seats and then they voted. The vote is then shown on one of the walls. Once they voted some of them stayed for a few moments to talk with their colleagues and others left right away. It was a good feeling being in the room and actually watching history in the making.

So, now the bill to award the Congressional Gold Medal to the WASP will go before President Obama for final approval and his signature. Once signed it will become a law...Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison has a press release regarding the bill on her website...

Three Thursday Thoughts

2009-06-11T12:41:00.004-05:00

1. My little sister had her baby yesterday. The baby was almost 8.5 pounds! Very exciting stuff...I can't wait to meet her but it looks like it will be July before I get back down to KY...We've got quite a lot of stuff going on the next few weeks...so a 10 hour round trip for a couple days isn't really in the cards. I'll be in KY for about a week in July anyway so it seems as if it'd be better to wait until then so I get some real quality time with my sister and her two daughters...

2. I've been reading Marion Chesney's Edwardian Murder Mystery series. It's pretty good though not as good as her Hamish Macbeth or Agatha Raisin series...I started with the Hamish Macbeth series after a friend recommended it and then moved on to Agatha Raisin for a while. I started the new series because I am missing two of the Hamish books (I got the rest really cheap on eBay) so am waiting to read the others until I get those two...In the meantime, I also finished reading a biography about Alice Roosevelt Longworth and Volume 1 of the Complete Sherlock Holmes, both of which I really enjoyed. I'm about a third of the way through Gulliver's Travels but I'm just not taking to it so I keep putting off picking it back up again...I already told my husband that I'd like Volume II of the Sherlock Holmes for my birthday or Christmas. I enjoyed Sherlock much more than I thought I would...though I've always loved mystery stories...even as a little girl some of my favorite books were Nancy Drew and those books where you could pick the outcome - I don't remember what they were called...

3. My husband handed me an article yesterday he thought I might enjoy and turned out I loved it. One of the magazines we receive is "Military Money Magazine" which we get because I'm a member of the National Military Family Association. The article was Sarah Smiley's "Shore Duty" column. I occasionally read her column because she has a lot to say about being a military spouse though I had missed this one. The article was essentially a review of a documentary called "The Way We Get By." It's mainly about three residents of Bangor, Maine who, along with many others, are unofficial greeters for American troops passing through the airport. What really struck me about this article was the fact that I myself have benefited from these greeters at Bangor. Back in 1998, I was headed out for my first deployment as a 2nd Lt. We went to Bangor because we were flying the rest of the way to the UAE with the "Mainiacs" and one of their KC-135s. We got there late and it was already dark. There were only about three or four of us and the airport seemed pretty dead. When we got off the plane, all I remember is being greeted by some very nice people who asked if we needed anything, told us where we could go to get a good lobster dinner and thanked us for our service. Now, I don't know if they were the same people covered in this documentary, but it's something I have never forgotten. The fact that people came out to meet us and see if we needed anything made an impression on me I'll never forget...

Little Sister

2009-06-02T09:19:00.004-05:00

My little sister is having a baby in just over a week. On Father's Day actually...they say the baby is too big to wait for the due date of 19 June so if she (the baby) doesn't come out herself by the 10th, they are scheduled to induce.

On a side note, while I think it's kind of cool to get a new baby for Father's Day, doesn't that mean that neither of them will have their own "special day" since they'll have to share it from here on out? You guys that are dads, let me know what you think.

So, I'm pretty excited to be an aunt again. Her first daughter is adorable. I only hope for the next one's sake that she is just as cute or wicked smart. My sister is going for her PhD so maybe the second one will be brilliant? Though baby #1 seems like she's pretty intelligent too. We may be a bit biased though when we say she is light years ahead of all the other kids her age...nah, I think she really is that smart, and cute, and sweet...I could go on and on...I can't wait to see the next one!

I've offered to come down and help out but can't get a straight answer from my sister. Does that mean she doesn't really want or need help or that she isn't sure I really want to do it despite having offered? There's a lot of family in the area so I would assume she has ample help available, but you never know. I would just like to know what I can do so I can figure out my game plan - I've got a lot of travel coming up in the next couple months and I need to plan. Despite my earlier post about learning how being spontaneous can be fun, I still need a plan!

I can't believe that they say the baby has to come out early because otherwise it will be too big. They are estimating about 7.5 pounds...how is that too big? That's tiny! Half the size of my cat! Though I guess when you are giving birth to it it probably feels like a giant pumpkin...but when it comes to holding it, changing diapers and dressing it? Tiny, tiny, tiny! I can't wait to see her, tiny fingers and toes and all...

Cool Winnings

2009-05-27T13:41:00.003-05:00

I can't even count how many contests and sweepstakes I have entered in the last few years, but I never seem to win anything...

A few weeks ago, I entered a contest on the BlogHer website for Fage Yogurt. It's really good Greek yogurt that Tom and I discovered a few years ago. And I won! I finally won!

The Fage arrived today. Two each of: 2% and Fat free plain yogurt, cherry, strawberry, peach and honey. The cool thing about Fage yogurt is that the fruit (or honey) is in a small container on the side. So you can mix in as much or as little into the yogurt as you want.

We like using the plain yogurt to make Tzaziki, a Greek appetizer/dip. The following is an easy Tzaziki recipe:

Ingredients:
16 ounces (2 cups) of thick Greek yogurt (like Fage)
4 to 10 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
1/2 cup grated cucumber (Kirby or "English")
1 tablespoon of olive oil
2 teaspoons of lemon juice

Preparation:
Prepare all ingredients in advance. Dry the cucumber between sheets of paper towels.
Combine oil and lemon juice in a medium mixing bowl. Fold the yogurt in slowly, making sure it mixes completely with the oil. Add the garlic, according to taste, and the cucumber. Stir until evenly distributed.
Serve well chilled.
The garlic taste will become more pronounced the next day.
Good for about 3 days if kept refrigerated.
Yield: about 2 1/2 cups

Spontaneity

2009-05-26T08:38:00.004-05:00

I'm not known for being spontaneous. I like to have a plan, to know what's coming up, to know what to expect...Every once in a while though I do something spontaneous and it usually turns out pretty good.

This past Friday afternoon I decided to call my best friend from school and ask what her weekend plans were. Turns out she didn't have a whole lot going on and agreed it would be great to have me come for a visit. So, Saturday morning I jumped in the car and drove four hours to Whiteman AFB, MO. We had a great visit. Sunday we went to her parents house for a barbecue. I hadn't seen her family (mother, father and brother) since we graduated - about 12 years ago! It was great to see them and get to spend some time with them. I never knew her father had been a maintainer for 20 years, so we had a couple nice conversations about "the good old days" in maintenance.

I also got to see another friend who's also at Whiteman. Before this I hadn't seen her since I left Ramstein AB 6 years ago! I only got to see her for a few hours Sunday morning because her husband was coming back from a deployment that afternoon. But we made the most of the three hours we had. I got lots of cool ideas from her to help support my husband's squadron. She's really creative so I just kind of picked her brain on things to do. She came up with an awesome idea that I am really excited about for the unit - I just hope my husband is as excited as we are. I've already created a whole power point presentation to win him over. Now I just have to wait another week for him to get back from his TDY. Did I mention his TDY? Among other places, they went to Oslo and he took the time to look up his ancestors. He found the town his maternal grandfather was from and loved it. I'm not sure I have ever heard him so excited. I can't wait to see the pictures...heck, I can't wait to go with him and see it myself sometime.

Back to my spontaneous weekend...That's one of the things I love about my military friends. Even if it has been years since the last time we've been together, we always seem to pick up right where we left off. It's as if military people realize more than others that life sometimes gets ahead of you and everyone makes the best of the time they are given. If there's only time for coffee or lunch, then you enjoy the time you have.

It was a great weekend and I'm really glad I picked up that phone and called on Friday. Maybe I'll remember that next time I think of something spontaneous...